Stray // Daryl Dixon

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

 I sucked in brief, shallow breaths through my mouth. The smell was so pungent and rancid that it made my eyes water. I couldn't wrap my brain around what we were about to do. I looked down at my torso, staring at the chunky bits of congealed blood, stomach continents, and flesh, that had been smeared across every inch of the bedsheet that had been draped over me.

We had watched Rick's group for a brief while, holding our breaths as they continued to walk hand-in-hand down the road without the walkers even giving them a second look. Seemingly, their plan had worked and we were about to do the same. Aaron and I had let two walkers in through the back door, while Spencer cut out the appropriate-sized bedsheets for each of us. We now all stood at the front door, staring at the wood, waiting for someone to make the first move.

We were all scared. This was an insane thing we were about to do. All this time I clutched on tight to a crowbar in fear of letting a walker get too close to me, always keeping them at a distance. A knife was a sharper and much more precise weapon, but I'd choose a crowbar over a knife any day. Now, I was moments away from walking amongst the dead, brushing shoulders with them and hoping, no praying, I'd go unnoticed.

"Tell me something to get me through that door," Aaron said. He stood between Spencer and me, his eyes locked on the doorframe as we all did. I finally looked over at him, not sure which one of us he was talking to. But, when he looked down at me, I realized he was looking at me for comfort. My mouth fell open, unsure what to say to him. I then realized they were both looking at me for guidance. I now knew what Rick must feel like all the time.

"I--I, my--" I stuttered on my words trying to find the suitable thing to say, but in all honesty, I was just as scared as them. "Two of my brothers and father were in the army. I used to wake up with terrible nightmares while they were gone. I had so much fear inside of me, never knowing when or if they would even come home. But, my dad use to tell me something and it was the only thing that could ever calm me down," I said.

Aaron and Spencer both stared at me while I talked. "What did he tell you?" Aaron asked.

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself," I answered.

Aaron sucked in a deep breath, huffing it out and nodding his head as he looked back towards the front door. I took that as a sign of him being ready. I reached my hand out, grabbing onto the clod metal knob and slowly twisting it open. I reached my hand out backwards, waiting for Aaron to grab on. As soon as his hand grasped onto mine and he grabbed a hold of Spencer, I took our first step out the front door.

I could feel how heavy my chest rose and fell, any thoughts in my head being drowned out by the lull of walkers around me. Their growls hissed in my ear with each step I took. A battered woman with wired hair bumped into my shoulder, her broken jaw swinging back and forth as her body bounced off of mine. I kept my movements minimal, not swinging my arms or cocking my head too much as I walked down the front steps. I had to mimic the persona of a walker. We were the walking dead now.

I kept my vision straight ahead. We were now walking down the middle of the road towards the infirmary and I knew this was the direction Rick was headed in too, but they had a major jump on us. I didn't know what their plan had been to leave their house or why, but I kept an eye out for them on the way. Although, it was well into the evening now, the sun just holding on at the horizon and giving me little light left to see.

Then I saw them. We had about a hundred yards left to get to the infirmary, but off to my right, I could see Rick's group huddled in a cluster just down the pathway by the pond where fewer walkers had ventured. I looked back at Aaron, catching his eye and leading him over to where I was looking. It didn't take him long to understand exactly what I was trying to tell him. The same way he needed to be with Eric, I needed to be with the people of mine that I could find. He nodded his head and I smiled at him one last time, knowing that he and Spencer would be okay to get to the infirmary on their own.