Stray // Daryl Dixon

Wish You Were Here

We got back to Alexandria late that night. Even though Deanna was grieving after the loss of her son, she interviewed us as soon as we broke the news to her. She questioned us separately, trying to get each of our stories straight. The last thing I wanted to do was retell and relive every detail of the day, but if it gave Deanna some peace of mind on how to move forward then so be it.

It had to be at least midnight by now. The air outside was warm, but the wind was brisk against my skin. The town was so quiet as I sit on the steps of our porch. I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes I would see Noah's face against the glass. Screaming so loud like I was right back there with him. I couldn't imagine how much worse it would be for Glenn right now. But he at least had Maggie to keep him company. I felt like I had no one to talk to right now. Lincoln has been spending most of his time with Rosita and I didn't want to wake him now. And Daryl has been out on the road with Aaron for the last few days. I was alone with my thoughts again.

The sound of the front door creaking open caused me to snap my head around. Rick stepped out, his hands shoved in his pockets as he walked over to where I sat. He hovered over me quietly, waiting for me to speak first. I could tell he wanted to know what happened today, the same way Deanna did. He was our leader like she was theirs. He wanted to know the dangers of who we were living with and I had nothing but bad news for him.

"I couldn't sleep," I spoke softly. He knelt beside me, not looking over at me but down at his fingers.

There was a silence between us before he finally spoke, "Glenn was too angry to talk when he got back," he said. I knew exactly what he was asking of me. He knew he could rely on me to explain, to speak my mind with a level head.

"I can't tell you everything," I sighed, "I wasn't-- I wasn't there for all of it. I don't know how Glenn and Noah ended up in those revolving doors with Nicholas. But I do know that Glenn had him. He had Noah's hand and he had a plan and Nicholas was scared," I explained. Everyone had heard bits and pieces of the story already, but no one really knew why it happened. I ran my hands through my hair, starting from where it wall went wrong. "Aiden was shooting at a walker covered in gear. I saw the grenade on the suit. I tried to get him to stop shooting, but it went off. All the walkers were on us at that point and Aiden had been impaled on the wall. Nicholas was going to run, but we made him stay. We couldn't get Aiden out of there without help, Glenn needed help." I choked on my words. "The walkers got closer and he ran off. Glenn and Noah went after him while I went after Eugene and Tara. By the time I got to those revolving doors Nicholas was safe of the outside and-- and Glenn was inside them watching Noah get pulled apart." I looked over at Rick, he was watching me intently, his brows furrowed. "My first run as a leader and two people died and Tara is seriously injured."

Rick shook his head, "They don't know what they're doing. Any of them."

"We'll have to show them," I cut him off.

"I don't know if they can see it. How things really are. I don't know if they can yet. They haven't caught up," he tried to calm me down.

I looked over at him, "Rick, we have to be here. Nicholas is a fucking coward and I don't know how many more of him are in this group, but we have to be here." I fought.

"Yeah we do," he nodded his head, agreeing. "But their rules, we don't answer to them."

"We are them, Rick. We are now. That's the price of being here." I threw up my hands. "Do you really think what happened today would have happened to us before? This was an easy run. We are them now." Tears brimmed in my eye-line as I stared at him. "Noah, he believed in this place. I'm telling you we gotta make this place work. But to do that we have to make them us."