Snowflake

"she was safe in my arms"

Y/n's POV

The following night I was so nervous. The last time I felt this paranoid was the night I was separated from Feitan at the cliff. I could hear my own heart pound and I felt my palms getting sweaty.

"It will be fine" Feitan tried to comfort me.

I just smiled at him. I didn't know how this meeting would end. I truly wanted to be a member of the Phantom Troupe but I didn't think I was strong enough. Before I knew it, every member came to headquarters and we were ready for the meeting. I saw Franklin, Kortopi, and Bonolenov for the first time in five years. There were also two new members. They looked very similar as if they were siblings. One of the new members was a boy who looked about 10 with a shoulder length bob. The other member had really long hair, it went down to his hips and he wore and emotionless expression. Chrollo then started the meeting.

"For those who don't know, that is Y/n. She used to help us with our missions back in the day" Chrollo pointed to me and explained my role in the group. "Was she ever a member of the Troupe?" The long haired man asked. "No Illumi, but this is why this meeting is being held" Chrollo continued. "So this is debatable?" Nobunaga asked. "Yes it is, it will be debatable until Y/n is accepted as a member or..." "If she doesn't become a member" Feitan finished his sentence.

Everyone looked at me, making me more nervous. It may sound gross, but I felt like I was gonna vomit.

"If you will allow me to speak. I don't think Y/n is fit to be a member. She may be able to use nen, but we don't know how powerful she is. Although I know she is dedicated to the spider" Franklin spoke. "Her loyalty might be due to her affiliation with Feitan" Kortopi added. "Come on guys, whatever their relationship is, it shouldn't affect how loyal Y/n is" Phinks told us his view on the situation. "I agree with him" Shizuku spoke quietly. "What would happen if Feitan dies or leaves the Troupe?" Illumi asked. "Do you think that will affect Y/n's loyalty?" Chrollo asked. "Yes" Illumi replied.

I found that question offensive but I didn't say anything.

"Why don't we hear what Feitan has to say" Nobunaga suggested. "I think she's powerful and loyal, I've seen her nen and I've known her longer than anyone here has" Feitan said. "Okay" Chrollo said. "What's the deal with her nen anyways?" The boy asked. "She's a conjurer; Y/n can create ice with her nen" Chrollo explained my nen. "Come on guys, I don't think we need to go any further" Shalnark said. "I disagree, I barely know this woman and she might be a new member" Illumi spoke bluntly. "I've known Y/n for a long time too, but I don't know how I feel about her taking Paku's spot" Machi said.

That crushed me. Machi, one of my friends didn't want me taking Pakunoda's place. I was friends with her too but I didn't think of this like that. It made me realize that some people just saw me as a replacement member.

"Machi, don't talk about Y/n like that" Phinks got defensive.

I knew an argument was gonna break out, so I left before it was too late. I felt like shit, knowing that I was a misfit in the group, visibly weaker and not accepted by everyone. I went to the only place I knew, the roof of York New Library. I've been there multiple times before even worked at the library. Feitan and I used to just look at the city from below after York New missions. I sat down on the roof and hugged my knees. I started crying and I felt rain drops falling onto me.

Feitan's POV

Everyone was talking at the same time and no one could truly be heard. The last time we argued like this was over 2 years ago. It was crazy to think that we argued because of Y/n. She was loved by all of us back in the day but now some people didn't want her in the group. How could they be like this? She worked so hard on every mission she went on and was always kind to every member even when we were rude to her.

"Why don't we flip a coin?" Bonolenov suggested. "Y/n are you okay with us flipping a coin?" Chrollo asked.

We looked where Y/n was standing but she wasn't there.

"Go find her" Chrollo ordered me.

I knew exactly where Y/n was. It was raining but she still would've gone up to the roof of York New Library. I opened my umbrella and quickly went to the library. On the top of the roof I saw Y/n, drenched in the rain water, crying. I held the umbrella over Y/n's head and she looked up at me.

"I know somewhere we can look at the city. It may not be as nice as this view but you'll be dry" I tried to cheer up Y/n.

Surprisingly, it worked. Y/n wiped away her tears and we went to my apartment. As she took a shower, I made her a cup of coffee and got out some clothes for her. For some reason, Y/n always got sleepy after drinking coffee. When Y/n came out of the shower, she wore her hair in a bun and she was wearing a sweat shirt and biker shorts.

"I made you coffee" I told Y/n. "Thanks" she gave me a weak smile after she picked up the cup.

Y/n then looked out the window.

"You're right, it is a nice view" she said. "It reminded me of you" I said to Y/n.

She wiped away another tear and sat down.

"This will get better, I promise" I said to Y/n.

We were both sitting on my bed. Y/n then wrapped her arms around me without saying a word. I held onto her so she knew she was safe in my arms.

"Thank you Fei" she said before dozing off.