Hazel Eyed Visions

Hands

Several weeks have passed. Bruno and I meet each other in the kitchen every night and talk, sometimes we even eat left overs together. It's nice having someone to talk to personally. But lately, I've caught myself staring at him for too long. I look at his hands too. How could somebody's hand look so soft yet so rough at the same time? His finger pads were calloused, his nails were clean though. He had prominent knuckles and a little bit of hair on the back of his hands from his body hair being a bit too greedy.

I wonder how they feel around my hands. Is he gentle with his touch or is he a bit rough? They seem so large compared to mine too. I can't get them out of my head. I get so nervous around him. My chest tightens, my face goes red, and I feel so out of breath.

.
.
.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

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It's morning and I wake up to Antonio shaking me a little, "Pip! You're gonna be late for breakfast!" I groan dramatically and turn onto my side towards Antonio, "Nooooo!" I shout, squeezing his face playfully. Antonio giggles and pushes my hands off his face, "C'mon! We can't eat without you!"

I laugh and sit up, "Alright, alright. You win, I'm up." I pat the top of his head and smile, "Go tell them all I'm on my way."

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We're all gathered by the breakfast table with plates in hand, all of us grabbing bits of food as fast as we can. I'm on my way to the table when Dolores comes up behind me, "Pip." Her soft voice surprises me, "Dolores-! Sorry, you snuck up on me. What's up?"

Dolores looks worried and leans a bit closer to me, "We need to talk after breakfast. It's important. Hm!" She quickly walks off to her spot at the table, leaving me standing in confusion.

What's so important? Did I do something wrong? .... Shit.

We're all at the breakfast table, I'm sitting next to Pepa at the end and I'm slowly eating my food. I don't want to talk to Dolores. I completely forgot about her gift, I'm such an idiot! I looked over at Dolores, she was calmly eating her food. How could she? She's the biggest gossip I know! Her eyes flicked over to me before she began to stare, making me nervous and forcing me to finish my breakfast.

Once we were all done, Dolores came up to me and pulled me by my arm to the nursery. We stared at each other in silence until I got too nervous, "So.. what did you want to talk about?" I stammered.

Dolores flicked me on my forehead, "Ow-!" She huffed and stamped her foot, "Are you serious, Pip?!" She's so quiet even when she yells, "My Tío Bruno?!" I laughed nervously, trying to stall, "Wh-What? Your Tío? What about him?" I sweat a little on my temple, "I don't know what you're talking about!" Dolores raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, rolling her eyes, "You're a terrible liar. Your heartbeat quickens when you lie." I sigh and rub my arm, avoiding Dolores.

"So...how much do you know..?" I mutter, not really wanting to actually hear how much she's heard. "I've heard you guys every night! Always talking." She makes a little puppet motion with her hands, "I just..." Dolores takes a breath, closing her eyes for a moment before placing a gentle hand on my shoulder for reassurance, "I just want you to be careful. Can you please do that for me, Pip?" I look up at Dolores with a dejected look, putting my hand ontop of hers, "I'll be careful." She smiles and hugs me quickly, "Thank you, Pip."

Once she leaves, I feel a heavy weight ontop of me. I look down and feel my hands shake a little. I start to silently sob as I go in the nursery.

"I just want you to be careful."

Of what? Is he dangerous? He doesn't seem dangerous at all. The way he stands, his feet fidgeting with one another, his hands gripping his poncho, the way his eyes look like they're gonna tear up at any moment. Nothing says dangerous about him.

I lay down on my bed, "Just be careful." Her words are playing over and over in my head. I curl up in my bed in a fetal position and hold myself. I don't understand why I'm so emotional about this. I don't even have strong feelings about this whole situation. Why am I crying?

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I spent the day in bed. Julieta came in to check on me but I lied to her and said I wasn't feeling well. She offered to make me something but I refused.

It's night. Antonio and Mirabel are sleeping but I can't. Bruno's waiting for me in the kitchen, I just know it. He's standing there, waiting for me to come down. He's probably playing with his fingers. I can't. Not tonight.

"He'll be okay." I sigh as I turn over in my bed and cover myself with my blanket.

But he wasn't. He wasn't okay. I wasn't okay. It wasn't okay at all.