Meretricious | Professor Lupin

67. I don't matter

Remus woke up hearing Spencer's muffled cries from the kitchen.

"Spencer?" he asked groggily, walking to her.

Spencer turned around, facing the corner.

"Spence" he tried to touch her but she shook her head. "Ok" he took a step back, understanding.

He looked at the watch on his wrist. She was supposed to be half way through her second class, yet she was crying in their kitchen.

"Why are you crying?" he asked softly, knowing the answer.

"None of it matters Remus," she shook her head, "none of it matters" she repeated, coughing.

"It matters-"

"It doesn't matter- I don't matter" she cried. 

"You matter love-"

"Then why- why would he- just why- would he do any of it- I don't understand" she fell down on her floor. "I don't understand" he shook her head.

Remus awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

"He's supposed to be my dad," her voice broke, "my dad," she wiped her tears. "And he's acting like he did nothing wrong- like I'm not supposed to be hurt" she harshly wiped her face.

"It's been 3 days-"

"3 days of him acting like an asshole to me" she cut him off. "The water is not going to calm Remus."

Remus sighed.

"I hate that he can make me feel this way and I can't do the same thing back" she whispered. "...I'd like to be alone please" she added, looking at the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Remus nodded, "I have to leave soon" he replied.

Spencer nodded before he left the kitchen.

She sat there, elbows on her knees as her hands covered her face.

"Just- stop crying please" she pleaded. "I don't want to cry" she sniffled.

Remus felt an ache in his chest as he dressed, he couldn't stand to see her like this.

As he made his way to his class he smiled at Harry who was already there.

Harry, however, did not smile back.

"I thought Spencer was coming?" he asked.

"Yes she was, she's not feeling well today" he replied, making his way to his desk.

"Is she okay?" Harry asked.

"She has a cold," he looked at the mess of papers on his desk, "...I'm not sure Harry" he replied looking up at him.

"Oh" he replied.

"I think a projection from Mars would cheer her up though" he fixed the mess.

"Professor?"

"Harry?" he asked not looking up.

"Right" he stood up, grabbing his belongings.

"You can't tell anyone" Remus said before Harry left.

"Not even Spence?"

Remus chuckled, "you can tell her Harry" he nodded.

Harry smiled before leaving the classroom, making his way to Spencer.

"Spence?" Harry softly knocked on the door.

Spencer took her hands off her face, still sitting on the kitchen floor.