Meretricious | Professor Lupin

96. Bagel

Spencer laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. The clock on the bedside table marked 6am.

She memorized Snape's handwriting, the directions he had given Arthur.

She sighed before laying on her stomach, pulling the pillow closer and trying to go back to sleep.

Six words on her mind.

I love you, I forgive you.

Spencer groaned before sitting up, seeing her reflection in the mirror. She stood up and walked to it.

She stared at herself for a few seconds before putting her hair down the middle, starting to form a braid on the right side. Then she moved on to the left.

Once she finished she walked downstairs and stepped outside, allowing the cold wind to hit her face.

She closed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Surprised you're awake" someone spoke from behind her.

Spencer turned around, Arthur was resting against the door.

"Can't sleep" she answered. "You?"

He shrugged as he walked to her.

He wrapped his arm around her, looking at the sun rise slowly.

She placed her hand on his back, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you" she told him.

Arthur kissed her head, "I love you too... whatever's in that shed isn't going to make me love you less."

She smiled as she stared at the grass.

"And if it's in the attic?" she joked.

"You get my point" he chuckled lightly.

She nodded against him. "I do."

After a few minutes, Arthur spoke again.

"Is it really your anxiety that stops you from telling me everything? Or do just not want to?" he asked softly.

"If it's both?" she asked.

"I don't know how to help you" he whispered.

"I don't know how to help myself" she shrugged. "It'll be fine though, you know?"

"I don't" he answered. "I guess that's why I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me" she looked at him.

"You don't need to keep saying that, I'll always worry about you."

She nodded slightly before looking back at the shed.

"I know you feel sad... that I don't tell you stuff. And I'm sorry, because I don't mean to hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do... but I hope one day, far far into the future, you'll realize why. And I hope you forgive me when you do."

Arthur stared at the side of her face.

"I'll see you later" she said, giving him a quick smile before walking to the shed.

Spencer stared at the abundance of boxes around her, "okay" she said out loud.

She started to open up a box, finding old shirts. She took out the clothes, trying them on before deciding what to do with them.

In 30 minutes she'd made three piles, "donate" "trash" and "keep."

Then she realized what she was doing and stared at everything around her.

"It's not fair" Emily spoke as she looked into a box.

"What" Spencer asked.

"That you're alone" she shrugged. "You shouldn't do anything alone."