Y/n's mental health isn't really the best. She becomes a new Avenger and meets all of the Avengers. Everyone is really nice to her and she feels very safe especially with the redhead Natasha Romanoff. Soon she realises that she has feelings for Nat...
When I wake up again my room is still in darkness. „Jarvis, what time is it?" (Wanda explained to me how Jarvis works before I went to bed.) „Current time is 04:31 in the morning." I sigh. My brain is wide awake. I won't be able to fall asleep anymore. I roll myself off the bed and land on the floor with a thud. Ouch. I stand up and rub my hurting elbow.
„Jarvis, turn on the lights." The room gets so bright, I have to close my eyes. „Jarvis, turn off the lights again." I stumble towards the bathroom, making my way forward by touching the walls. When I finally arrive in the bathroom I turn on the light of the bathroom mirror. This light is less bright and my eyes get used to it pretty fast. I look at myself in the mirror and see the dark circles under my eyes. Why do I always look so bad?
My hands go to the skin under my chin. It looks like I have a double chin. I try to pull the skin from under my chin behind my ears. This would look so much better. I take off my t-shirt and run with my hands over my belly and hips. You need to loose weight. Stop eating that much. You look ugly like this. You are not pretty. You are fat. You are ugly.
I reach out and punch the wall in frustration. The pains shoots from my knuckles to my whole hand. The wall still looks the same, but my knuckles are dark red. I punch the wall again. My frustration actually gets a little better. My anger about my body gets released. This time, the top knuckle of my index finger is burst open and a little stream of blood is running down my hand. I look in the mirror again. I'm standing there with my bleeding hand and in this ugly body, I wish I could change. For the last time, I reach out and punch the wall. Yeah, this feels good.
I look at my hand again. This time, three knuckles are bleeding and the blood is dripping on the floor. Watching the blood flow satisfies me in a way and I'm just sitting there on the bathroom floor, until it stops bleeding. When I finally heave myself off the floor, my legs are very stiff. I shake both of them a little, before I wash the blood of my hand. The water stings in the fresh wounds, but I don't care. I rub with my finger over my hand until there's no dry blood left. Then I wet a paper towel and wash the blood off the wall and the floor. I wrap another paper towel around the bloody paper towel and then throw it in the bin. I leave my knuckles as they are. It would look more suspicious if I tried to hide them.
I get out of the bathroom and change into training clothes and shoes. Then I make my way out of my room and get in the elevator. „Jarvis, bring me to the training center." The elevator starts moving downwards and after a few floors it stops.
I get out and see a totally empty fitness room. I sigh in relief. Nobody is here, I can train alone. Nobody is here to judge me. There are multiple training devices, a sparring ring and many other things. I go to one of the treadmills and connect my phones with my headphones.
I step on the treadmill, put the headphones on and press play on my playlist. I start the treadmill and start jogging. After a few minutes I put the treadmill on higher speed and after another ten minutes or so, I'm already running as fast as I can. I'm just running and running, without having to think anything.
After some time, I feel a little bit dizzy. When I look at my phone, I see that I've already been running for more than an hour. I slowly make the treadmill stop and immediately have to grab the handles of the treadmill, so I don't collapse. My eyesight gets clear again and I feel my stomach rumble. I go to the water dispenser. There are multiple empty bottles and cups. I choose a blue bottle and fill it up. Then I chug the whole bottle in one go. I still feel hungry, so I fill the bottle and empty it again.
Then I fill the bottle again and walk over to the rowing machine, but just when I want to sit down on it, the elevator doors open. Natasha comes in. When she sees me, she looks very surprised.
„Y/n, how long have you already been here? It's half past six in the morning." She strolls over to me. „Oh, not that long. I just woke up early and couldn't fall asleep anymore." „You look like you've just run for hours."
„Me? No. I only run for a couple minutes and then you came in and yeah..." I turn around and grab the rowing handle. „What happened to your hand?" I turn to her again. „Oh, my hand. Yeah... I stumbled and fell down." „On your knuckles?" She cocked an eyebrow. „Yeah, my body must be weird." I say without looking her in the eyes.
„Sure." She doesn't sound convinced. Fuck.
There is a moment of silence. „Why didn't you put something on it?" I shrug. „It's not that big of a deal. There is no need to put something on it." „Yes, there is. It could get infected." „Whatever." I turn around for the second time, because I finally want to continue with my training.
I hear Natasha go away and start using the rowing machine. Finally.
But after a few moments, I hear her voice again. „Get off and come to me, Y/n." It sounds like a command and I don't want to make her angry, so I stop my rowing exercise and walk to Natasha who is sitting on a bench, near the water dispenser. On the floor before her lies a little first aid kit.
„Sit down." She orders me. I let out an exaggerated sigh and sit down beside her. Natasha ignores me and puts one of her legs on the other side of the bench, so she's now facing me. She then softly grabs my injured hand and takes out a wound desinfectant spray. „This will sting a little." When the liquid reaches my wounds, they immediately start to burn. I wince. „Sorry." Nat says and puts a hand on my knee.
„Now put the hand before me on the bench and hold still." I do as I'm told and let Natasha wrap up my hand. She puts the first aid kit away and sits beside me again. She looks at me with concerned eyes. „Are you okay?" „Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?" I let out a fake chuckle.
She pulls me into a hug. I can feel my heart skipping faster. When we pull aways from each other, I ask, „What was that for?"
„Oh, I just like hugs, don't you?" Natasha smiles at me. „Yes, I do... I do like hugs."
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Hi
I hope you like my story so far and I hope you're doing okay.
If you're feeling down, here is a photo of a marmot (I took it). Maybe that will cheer you up a bit :))
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