It's okay (Natasha Romanoff x female reader)

14. Chapter

Natasha and I start another movie. At around 11 in the evening, Natasha proposes that we go to bed and I agree.
Before I enter my room, Natasha gives me a quick kiss and whispers, „Sleep well, darling."
„You too", I mumble and Natasha goes to her room.

I change into my pajamas and brush my teeth before I cuddle into my cushions.
I try to fall asleep and think about Natasha kissing me, but my thoughts wander off and I'm quickly overthinking again.
What if she still doesn't like me? What if she just says she likes me to not hurt my feelings? Why would she even like me? I'm so ugly. I don't deserve her.

I tell Jarvis to turn on the light and grab my phone to take the blade from my phone cover.
I have to do this. I deserve this.
I put the blade on my wrist.
But I promised Natasha to go to her next time I have the urge.
I get up, the blade still in my hand. But I can't just go to her. What should I do?
I sit back down on my bed.
But I promised her.
I stand up again.
„Damn it!" I whisper, run out of me room and knock at Nat's door.

„Yeah?" Natasha sounds quite confused.
I open the door.
She is lying in her bed and looks like she was sleeping a second ago.
Natasha's confused expression turns into a worried one. „What's wrong?"
I don't answer. This was a stupid idea.
„Y/n?" Nat asks again.
I realize that I'm still holding the blade in my hand and close my hands tight around it. I feel the sharp metal sinking into my skin.

Natasha jumps out of her bed and hurries over to me.
„What do you have in your hand?" She asks worried.
Tears start to fill my eyes. „I'm sorry. You said I should come to you."
„What?" Natasha scans my face. „Oh." She turns on the light. „Yes, of course. Please open your hand."
„But there's blood." I can feel silent tears rolling down my face.
„That's alright. Just give me the blade." Natasha escorts me to her bed and makes me sit down.
I reluctantly open my hand and Natasha carefully takes the blade out of my bleeding hand. „Let's get that cleaned real quick." Natasha says softly. „Uhm- Did you do it anywhere else today?"
I shake my head. „No, I came to you as I promised."
Natasha nods smiling. „That's good. That's great. Thank you." She rushes to the bathroom with the blade and comes back with a first aid kit.

She sits down next to me and quickly takes care of the two cuts on my palm. She then pulls me into a hug and only lets go when I pull away.
„I'm sorry." I say ashamed of myself.
„Shut up, Y/n. Don't be. Do you want to play UNO?" Natasha says.
„Jarvis play my favourite songs by Taylor Swift." Natasha says when she has distributed the cards. „You start."

Natasha and I play several rounds. Natasha only wins the first time. After that she loses round after round and it drives her mad. „I fucking hate this game!" She shouts when I beat her again.
I start to laugh. „Don't be a poor loser. I'm just better than you. Accept it." I tease.
„Shut up!" She slaps my shoulder playfully.
I roll my eyes and let myself fall into her cushions. „Why is your bed so much more comfortable than mine?"

„You can stay here if you want." Natasha says and puts the UNO away.
I smile and nod. Natasha lies down next to me and turns off the light and the music. A second later, I feel Natasha's arms around me. I put my arms around her too.

„Are you okay, Y/n?" Natasha whispers.
„Right now?" I mumble sleepily. „Yes, right now I'm perfect."

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Hey :))
This was my story. I know it was quite short. I hope you liked it anyways. Thank you for reading it.
If you haven't yet, check out my other stories (if you want).

I love y'all <3