Sugar - [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 10

A/N: Double update. I'd appreciate more feedback in comments, that what keeps me going and it's always helpful (: 

Harry probably could have expected that Louis wasn't going to take him to the local mall. No, they actually drove an hour to a huge shopping center with brand shops only. Harry whined realising it when he stepped out of the car. "Are you serious?" He sighed. "Louis come on.." He whined. "Harry, shut up." He said on the same whiney tone. "I told you I'd spoil you." "Yes, but what's the point of paying a hundred pounds on a normal white t-shirt when you can also get one for five?" Harry asked. It was just.. all so new to him, not having to think about money.

Louis sighed. "It's about me having the money for it. Now get your ass inside." He chuckled weakly as he grabbed Harry's hand. "Besides, the quality tends to better." First off was a Armani store. Harry was bought a couple of suits and a nice t-shirt, as by the time when they reached the second store he was already closing his eyes to not see the price Louis had to pay on the display. However, it was said allowed anyways and another 1506 pounds had been spend on him.

Shoes were next and after that they settled down in some restaurant which was all fancy. It was weird to realise that Harry would have had to work for at least 6 hours to be able to pay for desert back at the bakery.. He wondered why Louis threw money around so easily. He could of course and Harry knew he worked for it, but it still made him uneasy in a way. He knew there would be a day when he wouldn't have Louis anymore. He'd return to a normal life and make his own money which would be far below the amount that Louis made and therefore he couldn't let himself get used to this. He couldn't allow himself to get lazy. Right then he decided that he really was going to look for a job, like he'd already planned on.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked, bringing him back to reality. "Oh, nothing." "Don't lie." Louis said, looking straight through it. Harry sighed. "I'm just not used to being at places like this." "Does it make you uncomfortable? I went on Wednesday on purpose since I know it's less crowded then." Harry could feel those butterflies crawl up again. Louis had thought about something again, tried to make everything nice for him, so how was it possible not to like him a little more than he would like someone else? He'd told him back then at the theme park how big crowds made him uncomfortable and after two months he still hadn't forgotten.

"It's just.. everything is so expensive.. All I've been to is the local mall really." "Well, there's a first time for everything." "It just makes me wonder.. I mean, Nike shoes come from  poor countries too right? Company's like that also try to produce as cheap as possible, so why are the shoes so expensive? What's so special about it? You're just.. paying for the brand. Why would you do that?" Those questions actually seemed to make Louis think for a moment. "It's company's making use of what people want. I mean, you have cheap sneakers, but with Nikes for example, they actually put thought into the design." "But then there's still the way of production, the shoes didn't have to be that expensive." Harry shrugged and well, Louis couldn't help but tell him he was right.

"I guess it's just about looks.. I mean, honestly, the people working for me would give me weird looks if I showed up in an inexpensive suit." "But would that be the reason to pay 900 pounds for one? Why care about what others think? Someone with your status could make a statement like that. So what if you got the money? That doesn't mean you have to just.. make it a game of "look how much money I can spend while I live"". Harry said a little irritated. 

"What exactly are you trying to say Harry?" Louis asked, clearly not happy with the younger guys behaviour. "I'm just trying to say that for someone coming from a family where they have to work extra hours to get food on the table, this is all a bit weird." "Yeah well, if you can't handle it you might as well leave right now." Harry frowned a bit at that. "I didn't mean to offend you.." He mumbled. "Well, you kinda really did. I can just bring these clothes back you know. It won't be a problem, but you can explain the people why and they'll probably just laugh at you because this is the world we live in. Do you think money is everything? Are you saying that I was lucky to be born in a wealthy family? Sure it's nice to have a huge bank account, to not have worries about money, but that doesn't mean I don't have worries at all. My parents are dead, my sisters can't live in the same house because I can't take care of them alone seeing I'm too busy. If I were to choose between my family and money, I'd choose for them." He huffed, standing up. "We're going home."

That's basically how the day of shopping came to an end.

-

Harry hadn't slept that night. He didn't mean to offend Louis in any way. Of course Louis would put his family in the first place, he didn't seem like the type of guy who would just get crazy with money and his status and forget about them. Louis had ignored him ever since they left the restaurant and it now being 11 am, Harry didn't think he'd see the beach nearby today. Louis was mad at him and he didn't like it. Not only did he not like it, he also feared that he was going to get send away and could kiss his future goodbye. Maybe he was the selfish person in this household. 

The sudden need to harm himself fell over him. He'd stopped doing that and it had been a while since he felt the need to do so, but it suddenly came over him so strong he felt quite startled. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, trying to abandon the thoughts out of his head, but they kept coming back. Louis spend so much money on him yesterday and he'd just told him that he thought it was bullshit, in some way. He made Louis upset and he didn't mean to do so. He'd just tried to express he was curious about why brands where so expensive and that he wondered why people would spend so much money on it. And maybe it made him angry somehow, to see that Louis bought him a suit that could've paid his rent for 4 months when he was still in high school. He wanted to let go of that, but he just couldn't. Of course Louis didn't understand where he was coming from and he couldn't blame him. He was the one who decided to hide something from the guy, it wasn't the other way around.

There was a knock on the door and Harry hoped it was Louis saying that he had to get ready for another day out, but he was left disappointed when Edward walked in with a plate of food. "Good morning." He said. "Louis has left to work, he will be back tonight." He informed him as Harry felt his heart sank. Maybe tonight Louis would tell him to take his leave.

-

He didn't mean to. He really didn't mean too, but by the end of the afternoon he'd been unable to hold himself back and now blood was streaming down from his hip. He just needed, that small bit of relief. It was fine though. He didn't do.. much.. He didn't do as much as he used too. The scars he used to have had vanished over the years. He'd taken good care of them and that had worked out just fine. However, he was now creating new ones.

He wondered why he felt so upset. He wondered why he felt so upset over hurting a guy he'd known for less than three months. Maybe it was because he actually didn't mean too or was it just because he feared losing his only chance on a future? Was it because he once again didn't feel good enough.. As soon as the thought crossed his mind Harry knew that was it. He didn't feel worthy of the clothing Louis bought him and everything else he'd been given. It was too much and he didn't deserve any of it in his opinion.

He sighed softly and cleaned himself up as he walked downstairs after putting on some clothes. He spend some time playing the piano as when Louis got home and still ignored him he headed upstairs and locked himself away in his bedroom. He turned on his computer and started looking for jobs again. He'd already made a list and started to make it longer and longer. He decided he'd call them tomorrow as he eventually stopped and walked downstairs into the kitchen to grab something to drink. Sighing softly, he watched Louis from a distance. He was sitting at the kitchen table clearly finishing some work. Maybe.. Maybe Harry would just leave if he found a job. He would find an apartment again and just live on like he used to, work more and pay for college eventually. He'd find some cheap study and get a job, have a sort of proper life. He wouldn't get more. He knew. This was just a lesson that teached him that. He'd never have it this good and he'd never have it good. He'd always have to be careful with the money that he earned. That was just was his life was going to look like.

He sighed and closed the fridge as he walked back upstairs.

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