For the Love of a King

Chapter Seven: Goblin Town

Lilja

Before anyone can react, the floor of the cave collapses downwards; the floor is really a giant trap door. The entire Company falls down a chute, slides through a tunnel, and lands in a giant wooden cage. As we struggle to get up, a horde of goblins attacks us, takes away our weapons, and drags us all away. As the dwarves are lead away kicking and yelling, I start to panic and try my hardest to escape. I kick and hit the goblins. Thorin sees me and takes my hand.

The goblin horde brings the company through a vast network of tunnels and wooden bridges to the throne room and platform of the Great Goblin. The Great Goblin is a massive Goblin sitting on a throne, holding a mace topped with a skull. He is far larger than any other goblin, and he is incredibly ugly, with warts all over his swinging chin. After the dwarves are captured, and the dwarves are taken to see the Goblin King. I try to back away but am pushed forward by a goblin. As he sits, music starts, and the Goblin King says "I feel a song coming on!" and starts to sing, quite badly I might add.

Snip snap, the black crack

Grip, grab, pinch, and nab

Batter and beat

Milk 'em, stammer and squeak!

Pound pound, far underground

Down, down, down in Goblin Town

With a swish and smack

And a whip and a crack

Everybody talks when they're on our rack

Pound pound, far underground

Down, down, down in Goblin Town

Hammer and torch, get out your knockers and gongs

You won't last long on the end of my prongs

Clish, clash, crush and smash

Bang, break, shiver and shake

You can yell and yelp

But there ain't no help

Pound pound, far underground

Down, down, down in Goblin Town

"Catchy, isn't' it?" says the Goblin King, "It's one of my own compositions"

"That's not a song, it's an abomination!" cries Balin.

"Abominations, mutations, deviations...that all you're gonna find down here", the Goblin King replies.

Our weapons are piled together. The Great Goblin jumps off his throne, trampling several goblins, and approaches the Company.

"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" Great Goblin asks

"Dwarves, Your Malevolence." Grinnah replies

"Dwarves?" Great Goblin asks

"We found them on the front porch."

"Well, don't just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice."

The goblins search the dwarves thoroughly, throwing away whatever they find. Oin's hearing trumpet is thrown on the floor and crushed underfoot. They empty out a large bag of what appears to be Elvish cutlery and candlesticks. The Goblin King examines a gold candelabra and turns it over: "Made in Rivendell?" he says "Bah - Second Age, couldn't give it away!" he exclaims, and tosses it aside.