Babe For The Weekend

Chapter 7 - dead, gone, buried

Joss opened the door. His bags plopped on the floor. He spotted the crutch by the shoe rack. It made him smile.

He had only been away for a two days but it felt longer than that. A lot has happened, good and bad.

Somehow the space felt bigger now that Luke was gone. He shook his head at the thought.

The softness of the couch was enough to doze him off. And in his sleep, he dreamt of the marina, the beach and the moon on that certain night. He dreamt of Luke.

Only to be disappointed when he woke to find that he wasn't there but instead a growing void of ache slowly draining him empty.

"I wish you never told me.." Joss whispered, testing the sentence in his lips if it sounded the same as how Luke have said it the night before.

When Luke left to get more ice, Joss was faster than a lightning to bolt out of their room.

What was it that was hidden in Luke's voice?
Regret?
Disgust?
Indifference?
He couldn't place it but there something more to it, hiding behind that dismissive statement.

To say that Joss felt humiliated would be an understatement. He knew he wouldn't last a second staying in the same room as Luke after what he heard. The mere thought of it made his skin crawl. He bared his feelings and he was met with nothing but shame.

What was he expecting Luke to say?

That was where Joss felt he went wrong. He expected something. A little hug, holding hands and a few kiss in his neck had him thinking of things that wasn't there.

"It was all in my head."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to remedy the incoming head ache from going through everything in his mind over and over again as if anything would change.

"At least, it's over now." He uttered bittersweetly.

He fished out his phone from his pocket, dismissing a great number of notifications of missed calls and texts that he couldn't be bothered to check who it was from.

"I wouldn't be working for a project until," He hovers his finger on the calendar dates in the screen, "Until next month." He said conclusively, relieved that there would be plenty of time for him to rest elsewhere before he started taping for another series.

He looked around his apartment. Everywhere he glances, there was Luke; in the kitchen slicing fruits for him, in the hallway carrying all the groceries, in the living room watching a basketball game and in his bed lying next to him.

Joss pressed the number in his phone. The line rang a few times before it was answered.
"Mom?"
Even after clearing his throat his voice was still shaky.
"Are you okay honey?"
Her voice pushed Joss even more to the brink of crying.
"I'm f-fine." He sniffled.
"Are you cryin- you should come home, Joss."
"I'm fine, mom. I just got a little cold from the beach last night."
"No matter. Come home for now." She said softly.
"I'll be there before midnight."
"You'll be going now?"
"Will you," Joss paused trying to steady his voice. "Will you wait for me?" He said, almost faltering towards the end.
"Of course, I will."

Joss knew her mom already has a clue that he wanted to go home. He just hope she won't ask why. She can be very intuitive for her own good.

Right on schedule, he arrived at midnight, just after driving for almost an hour.
"Have you eaten?"
Joss nodded, going in immediately for a hug.
"I'll make you a cup of tea before you come up to your room."
"Okay." Was all he said, never wanting to break the comforts of her embrace.
"I know something has happened and I won't force you to tell me," She cupped his face with both hands, "But what I want to know is if you're okay."
Joss could sense the worry in her voice.
"I'll be okay."
Even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
"If you ever want to talk about it, honey, I am more than willing to listen. We can talk about anything." She smiles reassuringly at Joss.
"Come, let's drink some tea before we call it a night. Your dad is already fast asleep, maybe you can catch him in the morning."

His bedroom in their family house felt clean, he couldn't see traces of Luke anywhere he look but before long he found himself trying to keep looking.

A sigh came out of him. And another. And another. He laid down his bed, letting his back rest what soreness had driving gave him.

His mind would wander but would somehow always find it's way back to Luke, his face, his smile and just when his lips would curl into a smile of his own Joss would be reminded what happened between them and then everything would turn sour.

"Luke.." He reached his hand out towards the ceiling. "What have you done to me?"