Babe For The Weekend

Chapter 18 - playing the victim

It's almost midnight and the streets of Paris had dwindle down into empty alleys and broken cobblestone pavements. On the 4th floor of Cler Hotel, Luke sat on the balcony in barefoot. He hasn't said a word since yesterday. When he shot a sharp glance to his manager, all he could say was I didn't know before the door got slammed in his face.

He tried sleeping, but the scenes would play out in his mind whenever he closes his eyes. He could still feel Joss, his gaze burning through the back of his head. It was a miracle he managed to act as if nothing was going on. When he entered the studio yesterday, his eyes darted towards him immediately and it took half a second but all of his being to control his entire body the way that he did.

Luke rubbed the back of his head, trying to warm the skin with his cold hand. He sighed. Again and again as he watches an icy mist come out from his mouth.

What was he supposed to do after seeing him all these years? He doesn't even know what to feel.

He knew Joss was watching him. If he only knew how his breath hitched when he sees him staring. And the way he tried to approached him, Luke wonders if he wanted to say something.

Am I still angry? Luke asked himself.

He roughly combed through his hair with his hands.

"I don't.. know." He instantly felt the gush of shame.

The locks clicked and Luke propped onto the bed. He closed his eyes and this time he did not budge at the sight of Joss in his mind. When he woke up, the sun had already filled his room.

"Sht." He uttered when he realized he had a brunch with a couple of his work-friends today, something he regrets agreeing to now.

The cafe's were packed as usual, Luke wanders the area looking for his friends. He spotted someone waving at him. He smiled and walked towards their table but as he gets closer towards the familiar faces, someone else stood out, perhaps too familiar.

"Luke! Joss asked if he could come. I hope you don't mind."

The statement froze Luke over. His friends glance at each other.

"That's.. okay, right?"

"Yeah, sure. That's fine." He answered after regaining composure.

If a stare could burn, Luke would have been ashes by now. Joss was once again, looking at him, every move he makes, every breath he takes. He shifted in his seat as if he was trying to settle that voice in his head telling him to run. Luke stayed silent, he laughs and chimes in on the groups conversation from time to time but that was all he could muster right now. Joss, on the other hand, had been leading the conversation. He was telling stories about his work and his life, almost touching that part that had involved him but not quite, something that drove Luke at edge of his seat.

"-Luke and I actually used to work together."

The group lit up in wonder.

"Luke? You never told us you knew Joss." One of his friends said.

His brows furrowed for an answer.

"Yeah. I did knew him.. But that was a long time ago." He smiled as he let the noise of the cafe drown what he just said hoping that Joss wouldn't put color into it.

"Joss! What was Luke like before?" Another egged on.

Joss was grinning in excitement as he rubs both his hand together. Luke swallowed what was supposed to be the refusal to the question.

"Oh man. We used to play basketball all the time. He's better than me though. And Luke's also good in acting. You guys should search his drama-series. He's like.. an acting machine. He reads the script once and then he'll nail the take in one go. He gets super annoyed when he's shoes get stains. Oh.. There was this one time-"

Luke stood up, the metal chair scrapes the floor.

"That's enough." He blurted out, grabbing his coat and then leaving his friends stunned.

He makes it through the busy street, walking in between the rushing crowd.

"Luke wait!"

He heard from behind him.

"Luke!"

He continued walking.

"Please!"

"What?!"

Luke turned around.

"Can we please talk for a second?"

"No."

"Luke, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"What?"

"I said, you're not sorry."

"You waited for two years to tell me that. To tell me how sorry you are. Two years. And then you shows up in here acting that everything is okay, befriending my friends so you could get to me. Do you know how f*cked up that is? I haven't seen you in years and you suddenly show up in my work, and in my brunch. Two years, Joss. Not a word. Not even a f*cking text."

"I just-"

"Just what? What's your excuse this time?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's the worst apology I have ever heard."

"Luke-"

"Stay away from me."

Joss pulled him into an alley as the wave of crowd continued to rush through the main street.

"I can't, Luke- I love you." Joss said calmly with the new found courage he didn't know he had.

Luke paused and stare at the sky scoffing in disbelief. It was the first time he had heard it. He'd been rummaging his memories for the past year and he couldn't find one where Joss had said it to him. And now that he was finally hearing it, the words had an effect on him, something he was not expecting. He didn't like the feeling.

Joss moved closer. He pulled Luke by the hem of the shirt.

"Don't do this."

"Do what? I'm not doing anything." Joss answered under his breath keeping his eyes at Luke's lips.

"Why are you smiling?" Luke tried to sound irritated but even he couldn't hide the playfulness in his voice.

"I forgot how hot you look like when you're angry." Joss slowly snaked his arms in Luke's waist.

"F-f*ck you, Joss."

Luke's brain had short circuited. The wirings and the programming wasn't right. He couldn't think straight nor come up with a rebuttal. He went limp as if his own body had betrayed him. He's enraged at himself for giving in with just one touch from Joss. He wanted to punch him, kick him, and beat him up but his body wouldn't cooperate. It had weakened at the sight of Joss, his scent and his touch had driven his mind and body connection to snap. Luke was at war with himself.

"I know you're mad and angry. Let me make it up to you." Joss whispered gently, pleading.

"No."

"Please, Luke." Joss bent down to meet his gaze below but Luke was quick to avoid it.

"Even if I have to spend the rest of our lives doing it, I will. So please, one last chance, that all I ask."

"I don't know if I can give you that. I'm still angry and I don't know why. I don't know if I still have to be, but I am. You were so unfair when all I did was to protect you. You were just as unforgiving like the rest of those people who found out we were together. And now you're asking for a chance as if it was that easy. Tell me, if you were in my shoes and I did everything that you've done, would you even consider giving me a chance?"