The Gilded Cage - Accepting My Place

A Taste of My Own Medicine

"Did you sleep well, Hermione?" Annie asked as she gently removed my pacifier. She had a huge smile on her face, clearly enjoying my embarrassment, and I only just about managed not to glare at her.

"Not particularly, Miss Stewart." I replied honestly, and a little moodily, but still just about minding my manners. I was a maiden, after all, and I knew exactly how I should behave. My solemn vows were still fresh in my mind, as my friend loomed over me, grinning from ear to ear as she pulled back my duvet.

"You were in your own bed, so you should have done...but then yesterday was an exciting day...so, I suppose it is all quite understandable...but I shall suggest to Mrs Montague that you get an early night, tonight?" Annie suggested, trying not to laugh, but clearly enjoying herself immensely at my expense. Not that I really blamed her. She was the only person I knew who had expressed any concerns at what I was doing with my life, because she was the only other heathen who knew as much about Meadvale as me. But her perspective was quite different to mine, of course. Nannying to Annie Stewart was really just a job and whilst she loved working in Meadvale, she did not intend to stay forever. Like so many nannies, she also wanted to travel with her employers, and experience lots of new things before she settled down somewhere. I knew she would not stay in Meadvale for long and she was not in thrall to the community like me. In a way, I thought, I pitied her, because she had not yet found somewhere where she could feel totally at home. I was where I wanted to be, even if my maidenhood had not got off to the best of starts. "Maybe in a cot of your very own?"

"May I use the bathroom myself, Miss Stewart?" I asked, politely rising above her little jokes at my current predicament. I had not been at all pleased with Helen the night before, but I had remembered my vows, after initially complaining about how she was treating me. So, as a mild punishment, in her opinion at least, she had put me to bed in a pull-up and a sleepsuit, to remind me of my new status in her family. Like Bella. It was how Bella slept, every night, even after being allowed to resume her maidenhood, and she did not complain about it, because she was obedient and knew her place. It was a salutary lesson, I suppose. I could see why Helen had done it, and what she attended to achieve, because it was Reformist childcare one oh one, but understanding my punishment did not make it any easier to endure. But I reminded myself of my vows again, my sacred pledge to the Lord above us, and tried to behave accordingly. "If you could just undo the suit, Miss Stewart?"

"No, Hermione...you know you are not allowed to touch your own diaper...Mrs Montague asked me to get you up and dressed...then, if you are good for me, she said that you can help us get the children ready for church...but only if you behave, Hermione?" Annie informed me with a straight face, which was obviously a monumental effort for her to maintain as she tried not to laugh at me. "That is what you promised to do...only yesterday...your pledge? Before God...wasn't it?"

"Yes, Miss Stewart," I replied, through gritted teeth. But it really was what I would have said to Bella, if I was honest, and that was my place. I was a maiden, through choice, and I think I realised that we all needed to settle down into a different routine. Mainly me, obviously. I was the one who needed to settle down into a new dynamic. And although dear Annie was enjoying herself in teasing me, she did not actually go too far with me. I remembered collecting Bella from Charlesfield, with dear Annie to help me, and we had been much tougher on her, telling ourselves it was for her own good, and obeying our instructions. Granted, my situation was not the same at all, and I was not in disgrace, not really, but Helen was clearly just trying to make me take things a bit easier, and accept a slightly different role in the family, and to be fair, I had not reacted well to it, at all, which was a serious mistake on my part. So, according to the doctrine, I needed a little reminder, and that was all it was. Helen was doing what any guardian would do, any Reformist mother, and exactly what I would have done to Bella without a second thought, of course. And I needed some help getting dressed in my new clothes, as well, because it was not something you could manage on your own, really. Not at the level of conspicuous piety I was expected to attain as the newest member of the Montague family. Which was when we reached my next hurdle.