The Gilded Cage - Accepting My Place

Christmas Eve

"Such pretty dresses, Helen...and I do love what you have done with Hermione's hair?" My mother said, as Mama handed her a cup of coffee. She was sitting on the big sofa in the drawing room right next to the playpen, where I was sitting next to the bars, closest to her, sucking hard on my pacifier. It was Christmas Eve, and our holiday guests were starting to arrive. Mum and my father were among the first, always punctual, because dad hated to be late, and Helen was fussing over them, putting on a bit of a show with me on centre stage. Mum kept looking down at me, as if she could not quite believe her eyes. She seemed to be delighted with the new me as far as I could see.

"She needs to grow it a lot more, but ringlets do suit her, I think." Helen smiled, pleased with the compliment, taking the seat next to mum. My sisters and I were all wearing dark red velvet dresses with gold sashes. Mum, much to my eternal surprise, presumably out of respect for our hosts, was wearing a full gown, royal blue and white. She looked incredible, like a different person altogether. I kept looking at her, simply bewildered by her appearance. "Once you have had your coffee, I'll get her out and you can have a cuddle...but I do like to keep them in the playpen when we have guests...it keeps them out from under everyone's feet..."

"Only if it is convenient, Helen...she can stay there with her sweet sisters, otherwise...we will have plenty of time together whilst we are here, and we do not want to inconvenience you at all...she has caused you enough trouble already, I am so sorry to say," Mum said, giving me one of her sterner looks. I quickly bowed my head and blushed furiously. She was obviously really angry with me. I did not know why, because I was being so good, but she did not seem to be particularly pleased to see me.

"As I am sure Sheila Blackstone told you, it is not so unusual...maidenhood is never easy to get used to, even if a girl has had a traditional Reformist upbringing...which Hermione has not enjoyed up until now, of course...and Hermione really is doing much better since we started taking a tougher line with her...she wants to be good, but she overthinks things, I think...she needs to stop trying so hard and start just being a good girl...she just needs to calm down and settle into her new life, naturally?" Helen assured her, offering some sort of case for the defence at least, although I was quite sure she was still just a little disappointed in me, too. But I was still being good, despite endless provocation from Bella, Annie and Miss Davenport, and she seemed to appreciate that, even if the sight of my mother in Reformist garb had rather unnerved me. I did not understand anything that was going on anymore. The whole world was going mad around me and I was drowning in the confusion of it all, lost and helpless, still questioning myself about everything. "She will make us all proud of her yet, Elizabeth...I am sure?"

"Sheila did explain everything...and you have our full support, Helen." Mum said, raising an eyebrow at me. "Hermione has a lot of growing up to do...Barry and I have always worried about her immaturity...and at the risk of repeating myself, you have our full support...she needs this...re-set...we think?"

"Indeed, you do have our full support," Dad added, looking smart in his best suit. "Hermione made a commitment to you and the church...and she has a wonderful opportunity here to make a good life for herself in Meadvale, in the future, once she learns to behave. I will happily spank her myself if we have any more of this nonsense...she needs to keep her promises and knuckle down...she is such a silly little girl..."

"Personally, I think she was run down...she just wasn't looking after herself properly." Mum said, reaching out to pet my head and straighten my velvet bow. "She does suffer a little from OCD you know, Helen...I think she needs this little firebreak to recharge her batteries and get her head around things?"

"No, Elizabeth...I didn't know that...but it really does explain a lot...and I do blame myself for letting her work too hard," Helen frowned and I closed my eyes, getting really rather tired of people talking about me, over me, all the time. "But she has been getting twelve hours sleep a night for the last week, plus some afternoon naps and a proper diet..."