The Gilded Cage - Accepting My Place

Shocking News

"You know what you have to do, don't you, Camilla?" I said, fussing over her, making sure her uniform was perfect, before I handed her over to her class teacher. She looked the part, in the smart uniform with her hair in pigtails and her satchel over her shoulder, but was also pale and understandably nervous. I had just changed her before we left the house, and I was worried about her. "You don't want to get demerits...so you have to concentrate and do exactly as the teachers tell you, ok?"

She nodded, and Caris took her hand, after giving me one last hug, and I watched Nicola lead them both into the senior paddock, taking the role of the responsible big sister. I was so proud of Nicola, who had come a long way in the ten months since I first met her at Charlesfield, just after her calamitous fall from grace. She was still a rather reluctant nursling but the person who had been taken through the process was all the better for it. She was kind, thoughtful and quite mature, despite her routine, and I was already thinking that she would make a much better fist of her maidenhood than I had of mine. But she still had another four long terms at Deepdene to complete, and I knew that she would be a very good influence on her younger sisters for the remainder of her second childhood. I was quite proud to have helped her thrive in her second childhood, and I loved her more than ever, because beneath the façade of an obedient nursling and a pious Christian, she had retained her spirit and her sense of humour.

"Time to go, Hermione?" Annie said, briskly appearing at my side and firmly pushing my own pacifier into my mouth, as I had no children to supervise anymore. "I need a coffee...and if you are a good little maiden, I will buy you a nice green tea, dear?"

I managed not to glare at her, which made her laugh, because she was teasing me. She knew that I had to behave in public, and she was supposed to make me, but our relationship had sort of settled again, and when we were alone, we were able to talk as equals, as long as she was in the mood and I minded my manners. Since returning from her well-deserved long weekend off in London, she seemed to be in a good mood, which was nice, but I did not like the teasing so much, and I did not like green tea. However, I did not have any likes or dislikes anymore, and my caffeine intake was being severely restricted, so that was what she bought me, after taking my arm and walking me down to the café. It was a lovely early April morning and even though we did not have the children to watch, she decided to sit outside in the sunshine. Finally, she removed my comforter again, after a waitress had served our drinks.

"Thank you, Nanny." I said, politely, before speaking my mind, risking talking openly before being invited to do so. She looked like she was in the mood to allow it, and I thought that I knew why. There had just been something about her, ever since she arrived back the evening before, and I knew her well enough to guess the reason. "You've got yourself a new job, haven't you, Nanny?"

"Is it really that obvious?" She grinned, before sipping her toffee latte.

"You seem to be in a really good mood...Nanny?" I pointed out, not sipping my disgusting green tea. "Change is as good as a rest?"

"Don't worry...I will be with you until the summer...but I have got the best job...lots more money, nine weeks paid holiday a year, good hours...and my very own flat...and not just a big room in someone else's house." Annie said, looking very pleased with herself. "I am going to be one of the new matrons at Deepdene...looking after the boarders...which means I am off duty when they are in lessons, apart from some preparation work and the paperwork...and then get most of the holidays off too. I actually saw the flat...it's truly awesome, a huge living room plus a fully-fitted kitchen, a double bedroom and a bathroom to die for."

"I thought everyone working at Deepdene was going to be a member of the church, Nanny...I am sure that is what Mrs Blackstone said?" I queried, frowning at the news. I was pleased for Annie, obviously. She was my friend, despite everything that had happened between us, and I wanted her to be happy, but she was talking about just the sort of job that I would have loved to have, once. But that was before I found my sisters, I reminded myself. It would have been a perfect job for the old me, but the new me wanted, and needed, more.