"Christmas coinciding with a Sunday equals maximum devotion, Elizabeth...so, it is a long service...much longer than usual...but the children do go out for their bible classes and we get wine and mince pies after the whole thing is done." Helen explained as she buttoned up my cloak, whilst my mother kept a tight grip on my mittened hand, keeping me firmly under control at all times. "It will be Hermione's first bible class, actually?"
"But not her last, Helen...I do hope." Mum said, staring pointedly at me. She was properly dressed again and I was also in full finery for the most important service of the year, including the cloak and a poke bonnet.
"No...probably not...but I think we can put yesterday down to overexcitement, and I am sure she was overwhelmed to see you and Barry...Christmas does get the children a bit overwrought sometimes?" Helen sighed, tweaking my nose as I sucked hard on my pacifier. I was obviously a child again in their eyes, just like that, and after everything that was being said, I did not think my nightmare was going to end with the holidays. Not that I could do anything about it, or appeared to want to do anything about it, because I had made my bed, or rather my cot, and I was going to have to lie in it for a little while longer. I had been asked several times if I wanted it to stop, and I had said no again and again, because deep down, I did not want to leave. That was clear. That feeling really was deep inside me, it was not just some stupid whim I had dreamt up to annoy Annie, or even to fool myself. It was very real, and really so important to me. I did not want to leave, because all the people I loved were there, and the world outside the village still scared me. "She will do better today, I am sure...and a nice little stroll down to church with you and Barry will help her clear her head..."
I did not think it would, but obviously no one was giving me a choice. Miss Davenport, again as I would have done, had everyone walking to church, because there would be little chance of any real exercise for the rest of the day, and I found myself flanked by my parents, each holding onto one of my hands, as we left the house. I found myself thinking back to the end of August that same year, when I first arrived in Meadvale. On that occasion, I had climbed out of a car with Nicola, Natalie, Naomi and Caris in my care. It was just seventeen weeks before, I worked out in my head, and in that time, I had squeezed in trips to Charlesfield and Hollywood, plus a week at home, until finally I had changed the direction of my entire life. And then mum reached out with her free hand and removed my pacifier.
"Hermione darling...your dad and I are just so disappointed in you, young lady?" She began with a deep sigh, to emphasise her words, clearly not in the Christmas spirit, using a tone I had not heard since I got drunk for the one and only time in my life, at a party when I was barely sixteen. "You persuaded us that this is what you wanted to do with your life...and we have supported you, because we felt that it was a positive decision to make...and thanks to Mr and Mrs Montague and Mrs Blackstone, we understand that it was a solemn commitment...which you understood and promised to meet, before God? But you have let yourself down at every hurdle...we are so ashamed..."
"Mum...you really don't understand...it's really hard..." I began, but dad was not about to let me argue with them. His voice was full of anger, rather than disappointment, and he did not mince his words.
"As you were told by Pastor John, and everyone else, Hermione." He snapped, squeezing my hand hard enough to hurt me. "We talked to Mr Montague about all the things that you have found so difficult to cope with and we fully agreed with all his decisions...you cannot join his family and this wonderful community and continue to work as a nanny...and keeping you off social media...making you rest and eat properly...it is hardly that much to ask of someone who has committed to living a pious, obedient life...they are not being unreasonable by any means and you need looking after. Look how upset you were because of the things you read on social media...just weeks ago?"
YOU ARE READING
The Gilded Cage - Accepting My Place
General FictionHermione Scott has found her family and the place where she wants to live, in The Gilded Cage Part One, Finding My Place. But having decided to join the Christian Community of Meadvale, she has to change, to become someone else. She is OCD, and want...
