𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏' 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆, offlinetv

𝒐𝒐₅

lily, sick: i really put the chu in lilypichu
lily: *sneezes four times in a row*
lily: *does the woah*

sykkuno: *crying* and EVERYTHING is going wrong and i need to pay my water bill, and there's this ant living outside and i don't know where he went and i miss him-
corpse: you're a baby.
sykkuno: now is not the time for pet names, corpse!
corpse:
corpse: it- it was an insult-

*doing a lie detector test*
michael, straight faced: last year poki tried to steal my girlfriend so i planted a cockroach in her room. i think it's still living in her pillow. i accidentally burnt a hole in the living rooms curtains and blamed it on robo-dog. toast made me mad one time so i put extra padding in his left shoe for the sole reason of making him uncomfortable-
sydney, horrified: it's fine, you can stop now-
michael: i'm currently wanted for tax evasion in france under john's name and i tricked leslie into thinking i can speak portuguese. i've been giving her portuguese lesions for eight weeks now and she still doesn't know
jodi: seriously, you can stop-
lie detector guy: he's not even hooked up yet...
michael: *smiles*

y/n: never be ashamed of who you are. that's your parents job!
sykkuno, on the ground: i just tripped and scraped my knee-

corpse: what's your street name?
sykkuno: t-pizzle
corpse: you live on a street called t-pizzle?
sykkuno: ooh, you meant my address...

michael: hey, by any chance did you happen to leave five large crystal skulls in the backseat of my car?
michael: follow up question, do you need them back, and can i keep one?
y/n: yes i did
y/n: yes i do
y/n: and yes you can
lily: what the fuck-

john: me and jodi vowed to never go to bed angry at each other :)
john: we've been awake since friday
jodi: well IF YOU WOULD JUST ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG-

lily: HONEY, IM HOME!
lily, punching the floor: I'VE SURE GOT SOME LOUD FOOTSTEPS, HUH
lily, knocking over an expensive vase: HAHA SILLY ME
lily, yelling: BOY I SURE DO HOPE I DON'T WALK IN ON SOMETHING THAT WOULD SCAR ME FOR LIFE
lily: ...
lily, just in case: *shrieks*
michael: oh for gods sake, lily. i almost shoot you with a flamethrower oNE TIME

yvonne: yeah, when content creators stay over its a really big deal. it's a rare occurrence - it doesn't even happen in a year, for some.
yvonne: *pointing to miyoung, forcefully kept in the house by lily and toast* been stuck with this one since the first sunday of april. please, for the love of god, let her leave.

ludwig: yeah, so i made some mac and cheese for qt and me, and she put hot sauce on it??
ludwig: i was like - babe, thats gonna be too hot, then she-
lily, gaping: god you're white-

john: why are you on the floor?
sydney: i'm depressed
sydney: ...
sydney: also i was stabbed, can you get jodi please?

toast: i wish i lacked critical thinking skills. you all seem so happy.

toast: what is this?!
poki, hugging him: affection!
toast: disgusting
toast: ...
toast: do it again

toast, in any situation: BEHOLD! the field in which i grow my fucks. cast thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

corpse: we have a problem.
sykkuno: what you call a problem is what i call an opportunity!
corpse:
rae: ok, we have an 'opportunity'
rae: all the money was stolen.

sydney: how does brodin even come up with these ideas??
scarra: ha... ha... i dunno...
*exactly five days earlier*
scarra: oh, we're filming on tuesday? the same day as my dentist appointment? oh, that sucks
brodin:
scarra: so anyone, you have to get an alligator, alright? i'll give you my guys number

*skipping rocks at the lake*
john: it's such a beautiful evening.
*meanwhile*
jodi, whispering aggressively as she throws rocks: take that you fucking lake

michael, playing the piano terribly:
lily, to john: maybe if we dig a big enough hole we can bury it
john: i don't know. the piano is pretty big.
lily: i wasn't talking about the piano.

ludwig, holding a deck of cards: who wants a tarot reading?
scarra: those are a set of pokémon cards
ludwig: yours is a squirtle, it means screw you

leslie: you have to live more in the moment! today is a gift!
toast: is there a receipt?

poki: *eats a sandwich with chicken, nutella, candy, cheese, ketchup, mayo, corn, strawberries, oranges, and peanut butter*
yvonne: what the fuck?!
poki: what? they all end up in the same place

poki: stop being so mean to me or i swear to god, i'm gonna fall in love with you
lily: ...
michael: AGAIN?!

emma langevin: my work here is done.
corpse: you haven't done anything-
emma: *already left*

*at a restaurant*
sydney, incredulous: michael, i know you stole the all of the utensils. i saw you empty them into lily's bag!
lily, whispering: play dumb
michael: who's michael?
lily: not THAT dumb!?

y/n: i'm going on a date.
peter: good for you?
y/n: good for us. i'll pick you up at six.