𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏' 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆, offlinetv

𝒐𝟏₁

emma: studies show that you are cute
tina: sources?
emma: myself.

miyoung: you ever wonder if you're the bad guy in somebody's story?
toast: miyoung, i'm the bad guy in MY story.

michael: i think food is entirely subjective. think i'll feed my kids slimeballs made of seaweed in his developmental years. he'll love it, won't even want to eat my fries, he has his slimeballs.
scarra: you would be an awful father.
michael: awfully good at feeding my son slimeballs

lily: sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style because all dogs go to heaven. follow me for more biblical hacks
scarra: lily, we are filming an unboxing video

sydney: *drops something*
sydney: my world is falling apart and i'm dying inside.
jodi: ...you okay, hun?
sydney: hm? yeah i'm good :D

ludwig: *does anything*
lily: why are you white?
poki: lily, you can't just ask someone why they're white

sydney: we sometimes weep in front of a mirror not to inflame self-pity, but because we want to feel witnessed in our despair.
jodi: i said i was sorry. can you stop with the sad quotes now?
yvonne: *whispering* what'd she do?
john: *whispering* she said she was a cat person
yvonne: *shaking her head* big mistake

poki, panicking: what do we do?!
scarra: *pulls out sword*
leslie: NOT EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG HAS TO BE SOLVED WITH MURDER
poki and scarra: *confused noises*

poki: i want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me
michael: okay, but in my defence, toast bet me 10 dollars that i couldn't drink all that shampoo
poki: that's not what i wanted to- wait what

lily: without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
lily: thank you for your sacrifice, ludwig
michael: LUDWIG ISNT EVEN HERE

rae: hello all. it is i, your favourite person.
corpse: actually sykkuno is my favourite person
rae: okay, then it is i, that bitch.

tina: i hope you have an explanation for this
dream: we have three actually-
emma: pick your favourite.

toast: why are you slipping pokémon packs under yvonne's door?
sydney, slipping another pokémon pack under the door: she getting ready to hibernate, toast! be sensitive

leslie: (doing everything wrong) like that?
lily: actu-
peter: just let her have it, dude

ludwig, texting: wh
ludwig: why does
ludwig: fuck i forgot
ludwig: i stretched it out for dramatic affect and i fucking forgot what i was building up to

literally anyone:
yvonne: this question may be a personal question, so feel free not to answer, but were you homeschooled by a pigeon?

emma: do you guys know where i can get one of those necklaces with the t on it?
rae: a cross?
emma: across from where?

lily: sometimes your friends believing you can do anything makes you believe you can do anything. it's inspiring.
doctor: yeah so you're gonna need a lot of stitches.
aria: also no one believed in you, you just kinda went for it

scarra: i've read all the parenting books, i'm good
also scarra: *trying to leave for work*
michael, who hid pancakes inside his laptop to "save for later":

yvonne: *eating*
poki: what's that?
yvonne: cantaloupe
poki: can i have some?
yvonne: canta-nope