𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏' 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆, offlinetv

𝒐𝟏₃

scarra: what if you woke up one day and you were hot?
toast: idk i'd probably open the window or something

toast: i'm sorry i hurt your feelings.
poki: i'd take you more seriously if you didn't put 'feelings' in air quotes

scarra: all the haters are like "aren't you wanted by the state?"
scarra: and it's like, i'm wanted by a lot of people, ok? that's the price of being pretty.
scarra: anyway, i did commit a smidge of treason

sykkuno: i have many jokes about unemployed people
sykkuno: but none of them work
rae:
toast, regretfully: rae, put the sword down

cop, knocking on the door: OPEN UP, IT'S THE POLICE-
michael, quietly: it's okay, i haven't done any bad crimes.
cop: -THE FASHION POLICE
michael, frantically kicking off his elmo-themed crocs: shit

jodi: you deserve a reward for putting up with me.
john: you are my reward.
*meanwhile*
lily: you deserve a reward for putting up with me.
michael: i really do, you can be really fucking annoying sometimes.

poki: how does that even work?
sydney: hOw Do YoU MaKe A pLaN FoR a ViDeO aNd It DoEsN'T mAkE SeNsE?!?!
poki: your face doesn't make sense.

toast, after stealing scarra's glasses: i look like a middle aged divorced librarian called brenda

aria: i'm never going to be a parent because i might get someone like michael for a child and then i'd want to jump off a bridge

michael: flowers for my love
lily, deadpan: come near me and i'll batter your fucking head in
lily, barely one second later: i'm just kidding i love you

sykkuno: where's tina?
rae: there she is- wait, why is she bleeding?!
sykkuno: where were you?
corpse: what happened?
tina: do you see that door over there?
*they nod*
tina: well i didn't.

y/n: hows your life?
lily: good, yours?
y/n: good.
lily:
lily: we're both lying, aren't we

leslie: hey, that's a cool rock!
y/n: thanks! rae gave it to me!
rae: i threw it at you
y/n: she's basically in love with me

yvonne: you have a preference.
poki: *gasps* how dare you? i do not have a preference.
poki: i love lily and not-lily equally!

jaime: this boy got me fucked up
sydney: what boy?
jaime: william shakespeare
sydney: of course

poki: and then i said "what are you gonna do? date me?"
poki: i am as shocked as you are, honestly.
michael: is that really your explanation as to why you're going to marry my girlfriend?

michael and john: neither of you are straight. you're both attracted to the waitresses.
jodi: it doesn't make you gay if you think the cute waitresses are hot. everyone thinks the cute waitresses are hot.
lily: *murmurs of agreement*
poki and sydney, the waitresses: :)

sykkuno: -i'm an overthinker, kill me!
tina: actually i think the expression is "sue me"
sykkuno: did i stutter?
tina:

michael: all you do is put me down-
michael fans: bro all i said was finish editing your video :/

scarra: what a fucking day. first i burn the toast and now i'm having a stroke?
leslie: should i call someone...?