𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏' 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆, offlinetv

𝒐𝒐₉

yvonne: remember when sydney wondered if the stairs take you down or up?
sydney: hey! we've all been dumbass kids once!
sydney: i've actually learned a lot during this past week

sykkuno: fuck!
poki: *gasp* who taught him that?!
toast: not me!
corpse: not me
rae: definitely not me!
everybody: *looks at michael*
michael: oh yeah, blame me! it's always the fucking mad scientists right? this is a fucking hate crime, i'm telling you. little assholes- oh

y/n: i'm creating a play about my life story
y/n: scarra, you can play the part of my mother
scarra: your mother- i don't want to be your mother!
y/n: that's perfect, you already know your lines

toast: *taps table*
yvonne: *taps table back*
john: *joins in*
yvonne: *taps table erratically while glaring at toast*
john: *gasps and bangs on table*
scarra: what are they doing?
jodi: they learned morse code... it's been a rough few days.

john: i'd fuck mufasa from lion king
jodi: but would he fuck you? humble yourself.

brodin: when something happens, why is it always you three?
toast, lily, and michael, standing in front of the sink they'd set on fire:

pokimane: so, um... i'm in love with them. y/n.
toast: y/n? the easily angered, moody, irritable one who hates everything? that y/n?
pokimane: yeah. thoughts?
toast: and prayers.

rae: why is toast crying?
sykkuno: he took a "which offlinetv member are you" quiz.
rae: oh, who'd he get?
sykkuno: lily.

leslie: so how'd you know michael was the one?
lily: he looked at me the way all women want to be looked at...
leslie: aww-
lily: with fear in his eyes.
leslie:
michael: awwww-

peter: what's your deepest kink?
scarra: i don't know. i'm a romantic.
scarra: so i guess committing murder together

scarra: i am a moderate, peaceful, godly person.
yvonne: but- you threw a chair at brodin five minutes ago.
scarra: yes. it was a moderate, peaceful, and godly compromise from the table i was originally planning to throw at that bastard.

sykkuno: corpse, how did you not know that was illegal?!
corpse: to be fair, human morals can be very confusing-

emma: i'm sorry for all the stuff i said.
dream, after banning them from tina's chat: and for punching me in the face?
emma: oh no, you definitely deserved that.

michael: *setting up a computer*
computer: [enter password]
michael, writing: lily
computer: [lily is too short]
michael, setting the computer on fire: liLY IS PERFECT!!!

-alternatively-
lily: *setting up a computer*
computer: [enter password]
lily, writing: michael
computer: [michael is too short]
lily: ha true

sydney: what if the person who named walkie talkies named everything?
sydney: pregnancy tests are maybe babies
sydney: socks are feetie heaties
sydney: forks are stabbie grabbies
sydney: defibrillators are heartie starties
sydney: would nightmares be dreamie screamies or nightie frighties?
the empty room she's talking to:

tina, walking into the room: ok, what did you do?
emma, deadpan: i punched dream in the face.
tina: oh, you didn't even try and deny it ok-