-Unhealthy Obsession-

why i hate Unhealthy Obsession

hello all. ive wanted to do this for a while but just never did i guess.

i will be explaining why i wrote Unhealthy Obsession the way i did. and why i hate it.

its pretty obvious that UO is not a typical wattpad kidnap story. i wrote it out of spite, honestly. i wanted to be different. add a little something new, some spice, to this platform. i think i did okay for the most part.

i still get comments and activity on UO which makes me happy that people enjoy it. i cant help but cringe when i reread it though, hah. my writing has definitely gotten better, thats partly the reason. but thats an easy fix, i'll rewrite the book (which i already plan to do. surprise!!)

but the main parts i really wanted to shine in UO was the the fact that neither mia nor andrew was really likeable. (ofc theres going to be the handful that do like them) but i wanted to make clear that andrew is not really a good man, but you couldnt help but feel bad for him; and mia making irrational and impulsive mistakes, but not completely idiocy to the point of no realism. 

before i continue on that, i want to bunny trail on a comment i had once saw. it has loosely said that mia's actions was not realistic, no one would ever do that. im not mad at the commenter, but wanted to make clear that mia's (and andrew's) thoughts were based around real life ( i always take things from my, or others lifes and implement them into my stories to ground them. thats just what writers do i guess) and either i have seen other people do those things or have done them myself. take mia running out of the restaurant for example. sounded like a cheap way of getting mia into andrew's arms again, right? i cant blame you really, this is wattpad after all, but in honesty there are people, including myself, who feel better in isolation, who feel unsafe in safe spaces. paranoid even.

now, with that out of the way... 

i wrote UO with two, first person perspectives, obviously, and i did this for a reason. it's the same reason DO is in third person. i know some people hate reading from first person POV but i felt like it would help best to understand the characters, making you aware of their thoughts and why they thought the way they did. could i have done that in third POV? possibly, but thats hardly the point. 

this story wasnt about mia, this story was about andrew. which is why is started with his POV and ended with it. this was a story about his obsession over a girl who barely knew he existed. i was young when i created this story, go figure, but i always put my blood sweat and tears into my stories. theyre my little babies. but this one...feel like i couldve done better. im not really blaming my younger self, im just a little disappointed. but without disappointment, there wouldn't be pride...probably. 

rewriting this story will probably do good for me. i really want to hammer down the points i wanted to get across and really make this book a banger. im proud of myself for actually finishing the book though, i'll give myself some credit for that.

i will never forget the messages i get on my wall and inboxes saying how much they enjoyed my story and the characters and,, agh. you guys are amazing, thank you so much. where would my motivation be without yall? 

i plan to keep poppin out bangers with Deadly Obsession, Blinded, and Under the Circumstances and more to come. i honestly dont know when i'll continue these at the moment. im an adult with mental illnesses and... 'adult things' to do. as much as i want to make writing, the arts in general my profession, i seem to be in a rut and is unable to comfortably just work on my passion projects without dread of being a deadbeat doing something wrong. financially and mentally i just cant right now. 

enough about that, though. 

now, i dont know why i felt the need to explain myself of why i wrote the story i did. maybe i just felt horrible for dumping a garbage fire upon you and pretending it was actually good. maybe i just wanted people to understand me. maybe im just destined to hate everything i do eventually. maybe thats just an authors curse though.. sigh, i dunno. i dont think i have anything else worth saying. 

see ya.