-Unhealthy Obsession-

.27. Runaways

I had my back turned to Andrew as I listened to the soft humming of the heat running. I didn't dare move because Andrew's chin was rested on my neck and his hand around my stomach.

I was staring blankly at this wall for maybe twenty minutes, reflecting on how my life all went to shit.

I had it decently good.

I still had my parents around. I had two awesome friends, Hannah and Miller. I went to a pretty good art college. I had fun and got wasted about every other weekend. And then Andrew came along. I thought I was going to add him to my best friends list.

He was just so nice and cute and innocent at first. I would've never been able to tell he was fucking crazy.

He'd offer me Wendy's like every time we saw each other. He complimented me on my looks. He'd give me this loving stare and made me feel like I was better than I actually was. He made me feel...good. Confident.

If Andrew has just asked me out like a normal person I would've said yes. He would've been a great partner. He was caring and gentle. He treated me like a Queen.

Why'd he ruin that?

I had really started to like him. Not like others didn't, but he seemed way more focused on how I was feeling. He had me all figured out and now I know why.

I remember Andrew telling me the reason he took me was because he knew I'd run away if I saw the real him. I've always wondered what he meant by that. Did he mean the easily angered side of him? The obsessed side along with the replica dorm and shrine room? The possessive side? The poor broken boy who just wants love?

Who knows. Maybe it's all of that.

I take a deep breath to stop myself from crying.

I miss my parents. I miss my friends. I miss getting wasted. I miss my phone. I miss memes.

I barely remember what my old self was like. I know I was...pretty out there. I'd occasionally talk to people. I know I wasn't as paranoid as I was now. Or maybe I've always been paranoid?

Well I do know that If I continue to live under this stress and my mental health, I know I'm not going to last much longer. I have been feeling pretty violently ill for a while. My body has been aching, my stomach all queasy.

Everything was taking its toll.

I felt like I was dying and that scared the hell out of me.

Why was Andrew so obsessed with me? What did I do to gain his attention? I remember reading those journals in the shrine room. Back when he first met me. The way I saw it, it looked like he just...had a crush on me. He heard we liked similar things and that I was apparently pretty and attractive. But what makes an obsession? What makes someone so unhealthily obsessed with someone to the point they do all these horrible things to them?

When did he start having these delusions? And why? What kind of fucked up things did he experience as a kid? I know his dad didn't care for him. His mom died and I know nothing of any other siblings. I worry they're in the same boat as Andrew. I worry for the other girls that possibly have experienced the wrath of the Miller family.

I sigh.

What even is a delusion? Why does it make everything seem to...real to him? I mean, sad tears equal tears of joy. He can't see past my facade. He can't tell I don't actually love him until I say it to his face but then, he just thinks I'm brainwashed. He's so convinced we're made for each other. It's like his brain won't allow him to think other wise.

I feel so numb.

Is my heart even beating?

***

Andrew