Self Inflicted

11

I woke up with a pounding headache in the woods outside the prison.  My hands are tied in front of me with wire and my fingers are slipped into the holes of a plastic piece so I can't try to untie myself. Merle instructed me to walk as soon as I was able to stand up and we were off on our way toward Woodberry. We've walked in silence for a long time, honestly my head is pounding and I don't feel like asking him questions.

"The Governor made Rick an offer, turn you over and we all give peace a chance," Merle says ever so light heartedly. "Rick would've blinked."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't would you? The errand boy always gets his job done," I scoff.

"I've been straight with you," he grunts.

"Yeah, real straight. Straight when you knocked me out and kidnapped me."

"Okay maybe I wasn't straight, but I got it done," he growls at me. I glance back behind me to him and he has my sword over his shoulder. "He wouldn't have, keep moving. He was the guy that came back for me on that rooftop."

"So it's all on me, figured that's why I was back there in the first place," he grumbles but there's a proud tone to his voice.

"Look at you finding a purpose wherever you go, the good little errand boy. They throw you the shit jobs they don't want to do," I scoff and notice my head some more, still pounding on the back of my head. I would check for blood but my hands are still tied.

He begins chuckling as a walker in a trench coat grows nearer, growling. "May I?" He asks and walks forward with my sword. "I'll take that as a yes," is his response with a smirk when I say nothing. With his free hand, he slices through the walkers head and turns around with a grin. "You know what? I figured you would've run."

"I'm missing something," he earns a tight smile from me. He sheaths my sword with a chuckle and walks back toward me.

"It may go down like that, but if I were you, I wouldn't my hopes up." He gets behind me again and grabs the train of wire coming from my hands and tells me to get moving.

We walk for awhile and come up to an abandoned house with a mini van in the driveway. "I just want to be with my brother. My brother, he wants to be in the prison," he sighs. "This little trip, maybe it'll keep that place standing. If I pull it off, maybe all is forgiven."

"Don't sound so hopeful, optimism isn't a good look on you," I scorn.

"Gotta play the hands you're delt, I've only got one," he growls and drops my leash to check out the minivan. He jogs over to it and opens the door but quickly shuts it.

"You don't have to do anything, you do what's easiest. The harder way is the good way, that's why Rick is good. He's a good man."

"I've killed 16 men since all this went down. It wasn't easy, but I had to do," he grumbles. "Let's go." We hear the snap of a twig and there is a group of walkers yards from us trampling through the woods. We quietly take off running down the road, it's hard to run with your arms tied in front of you. It's like you're fighting yourself while trying to run.

-

We jog for awhile longer and come up upon a couple buildings with lots of cars littering the parking lot. "Alright, I think we're good," Merle slows down breathlessly.

"Never been better," I scoff. Merle walks up to a post with the wire and uses his one good hand and his machete hand to tie it around the post. Merle pulls the antenna off a car and then reaches it through the window to unlock it, and he does successfully and opens the door. I just stand there and look around at the emptiness.

He hot wires the car and it stutters but eventually starts running. But quickly after, a blaring alarm starts ringing. Loud. "Merle!" I grunt in panic. That thing is ringing for miles.

Walkers start tumbling out of the woods heading straight for us. "We've got company!" I yell. I start yanking on my hands trying to get them free but nothing will do. I pull so hard my fingers are burning. Then a walker appears from the building heading straight for my with snarling teeth. 'Oh my god' is all I can think. I yank and yank but can't see to get free and now she's only a few feet from me.

There's another walking approaching from my other side with snapping teeth. I kick his knee and he buckled to the ground so I smash his head with my boot. The other walker is now really close, so I kick her back into the post and she falters but get back up so I kick her again. This time she falls and I smash her head too. "Merle!" A walker climbs into the car after Merle and he uses his machete to stab him and lift him up, grabbing my sword and slicing through his head.

Out of nowhere another walker comes out of the building and grabs my arms and I thrash against it. Merle shoots it and it drops dead. He shoots a few of the closer walkers and slices the wire binding me to the post with his machete. "Let's go!"

I climb into the passengers seat of the no longer blaring car and he gets in the drivers seat. We speed off back onto the road.

-

We've been driving for awhile and lost the trail of walkers a long time ago. "So is this what you do? Take out the trash?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself darlin'." With every word you can hear the raspiness of his voice from smoking for years.

"The governor, Rick. Whoever needs their shit taken out you come running," he just chuckles dryly. "Not Daryl though."

"Yeah, Rick says jump and he wants to know how high."

"No, your brother is a good man. Rick looks to him for things, he trusts him, he needs him. He didn't ask him to do this little job."

"No, because he wanted it done."

"You keep telling yourself that. The truth is you could've changed things, this was your shot. You could've become an asset but instead you keep living on the outside." I take a long look at the broken man beside me "Daryl will be better off without you. He has a new family."

"You keep talking and I'm going to cut your tongue out. Rick is turning you over because he's trying to save his own ass. You're as much on the outside as I am."

"Why me? Why just me? What about Michonne?"

"The governor knows she'll come after you, it's all apart of it. He wants both of you."

"Well at least after he's killed me, I won't have to live with myself," I growl. There is a long drawn out silence between us and I get curious again. There's no chance of me getting away, so I might as well peak my curiosity. "You said you killed 16 men after all this started, did you kill anyone before?" You can see it on his face, there's still a conscious left, there's still a thoughtful man in there.

"No," he grumbles.

"Before Woodberry? Before you met him?" I just get an uncomfortable look from Merle and then his eyes go back to the road. "So he saved you, fed you a line of bullshit, why would you kill another person for him? You know what he thinks of you. You were nothing but an errand boy."

"We can go back, both of us," I give him a look. I'm breaking him down, I can see it.

"Ain't happening," he chuckles dryly.

"We can just go back," I breathe. He shakes his head and squints his eyes.

"I can't go back, don't you understand that? I can't."

"Why?" My intruding question makes him slam on the breaks and we screech to a halt in the middle of the abandoned road. He leans over to me and looks in my eyes for a second, before cutting my hands free. I take off my restrain and give him a concerned look. He nods at my permission.

"You go back with them, be ready for what's next," he leans over me and opens my door. "I got something I got to do on my own." I climb out of the car and he hands me my sword and then stares straight ahead at the road.

"He'll be okay," that's it, that's the only words I can muster to this man. I shut the door and he speeds off down the road. I put the sword across my back and head back the way we came. He's doing what's best for Daryl, he's doing what's right for once.