Self Inflicted

24

"Me and Luna are going to look for water," Daryl butts in, Rick hesitates but nods. The group of them take off, Rick, Sasha, Bob, Michonne, and Gabriel. Tara, Maggie, and Glenn are scavenging while the rest stay back to protect the church.

Daryl and I venture off on our own, walking in the woods mostly for awhile. "Do you think someone is watching us?" I ask as we trudge through the humid forest.

"I don't know, felt like it," he huffs.

"Daryl Dixon is never wrong," I tease. I earn a huff and the side eye but he continues on walking. We come upon a navy blue house with a small garage and porch, no cars. The garage is open about two feet and I bend down to peak underneath, seeing no feet; I drop to my stomach, sliding underneath. I stand and Daryl's crossbow is slid underneath, his body following.

The door to the house is closed so I quietly make my way around the garage, grabbing a knife sharpener I found in a drawer. There isn't much else of use in the garage so we decide to head inside. I pull out my sword and wait as Daryl swings the door open, he leads with his bow and we search the downstairs. Seeing it's clear, Daryl whistles to see if there's anything hiding upstairs. Hearing nothing, we look around downstairs first. In the pantry, there are four gallons of water and some cans, also a stale box of crackers. I set them on the messy dining room table and put down my bag, stashing them away.

Daryl stalks forward with some clothes and lays them in front of me. They're women's clothes, around my size so they might work. "Thought you might want some new ones," he gestures to my shirt. I look down at the shirt soaked in blood and torn to shreds.

"Thank you," I smile lightly. He turns but I stop him by calling to him.

"Daryl," I pause as he turns. "What did they do to you?" He sighs but reluctantly responds.

"They had us tied up, gagged. One by one they knocked us out and slit our throats, draining us like pigs," he spits. "Two more seconds, Glenn would be dead."

"You got lucky," I shake my head slightly in disbelief.

"I didn't do anything," he growls. I walk up to him and shake my head.

"You were scared, everyone was."

"Back on the road, I didn't do anything."

"Daryl, stop."

"God damn it, I lost Beth too," He shouts.

"Stop-" I'm cut off by him shouting again.

"I almost lost you!" I'm caught off guard by his words, the anger radiating in his demeanor and soft blue eyes. That's when I do possibly the stupidest thing I could have done; I grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him. He stiffens and I swear makes a noise but he doesn't pull away. Seconds feel like hours and it's like everything I've ever wanted. There's no butterflies, just the feeling of being home. My body relaxes touching him and my mind stops spinning.

I pull away and take a step back, trying to gauge his demeanor. I can't read him, his eyes are wild like his soul and his expression is stunned. Awkwardly, I point upward and cough out.

"I have to check upstairs," I grab the clothes he brought me and make my way upstairs, turning into a bedroom and shutting the door behind me. "What an idiot," I whisper to myself.

I quickly get changed and check the upstairs, not finding much of anything. I take as long as possible to avoid going back downstairs. Eventually, I know I have to so I find Daryl downstairs, his back to me looking at pictures on a shelf. I admire his figure, muscular yet soft. The torn and battered angel wings on his vest represent himself whether he knows it or not. He is a saving grace to all of us in one way or another, he's the strongest man I've ever met. He is still ignoring that I'm behind him but I know he knows I'm here.

"I know you heard me," I say softly. He turns and looks at me but once again I cannot read his expression. "Ready?" Daryl gives me a small nod and grabs two jugs of water and I grab the other two, we leave the house and continue on our pursuit without a word shared between us.

-

There is a black car up ahead, we approach and I set down the water, sitting in the front seat trying to turn the car on but I have no luck. I huff and climb out, opening the back to find a battery with some power left. I begin pulling it out of the trunk and Daryl interrupts. "Should leave it here, 'case things go south at the church." I nod and shut the trunk, locking it. I bend to pickup the waters and Daryl, stops me. "Want me to carry one?" as he says it he throws his hand forward, also throwing the water jug. The cap falls off and water spills out onto the road. He huffs and picks it up.

"Not a chance," I chuckle. He scoffs and we continue on our way back to the church.

-

It's getting dark now and all of us are shoveling food into our mouths, laughing and chatting the night away. Rick's group found containers of food at the food bank, surprisingly unscathed. I'm leaning against the wall of the church, watching our people as they enjoy themselves for the first time in a long time. Daryl sits across the church, as far away from me as possible. He hasn't spoken another word to me on our trip back or since we've returned.

I smile at Rick holding his baby girl in his lap, talking to her and smiling through his overgrown beard. Abraham grabs the attention of all of us and we snap into his direction, he's standing proudly. "I'd like to propose a toast." Drink in his hand, he continues on with his toast. Michonne takes a seat beside Rick and Judith, Maggie is not far from me either, sitting across from Michonne.

"I look around this room...and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!"

"To the survivors! Cheers!" All of us raise our glasses to the toast and drink, I take a sip from my old water bottle.

"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham interrupts an enjoyable pause. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?"

He pauses momentarily to study the eyes of those around him. "'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." Rick lulls Judith to quiet down, and Abraham turns to Eugene.

"Eugene, what's in DC?"

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart." Abraham smirks, holding his cup in both hands, nodding his head eyeing Rick.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started." Now, he begins speaking directly to Rick more than before. "Come with us. Save the world for that little one." Rick shifts his daughter in his lap and smiles at her. "Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there, who don't got nothing left to do except survive." I make eye contact with Daryl and he holds a light expression, lighter than I think I've ever seen him. I nod my head slowly before breaking our eye contact.

Rick smiles and surveys the looks on our faces, chuckling. Judith makes a noise and Rick smiles at her. "What was that?" he grins. I smile at the exchange. "I think she knows what I'm about to say," he turns to look at Michonne. "She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in." The cheering begins again and someone claps. I spare a glance at Bob and Sasha, she leans in to kiss him and he smiles warmly. I very quickly glance at Daryl again, except this time he isn't looking back but he's staring at his hands and fumbling with something. I relive the horrific yet exhilarating moment between us. He still hasn't said a word, truthfully that isn't out of the ordinary for him. But I'd have to imagine if he hated it or me, he would have said something cruel, or said something at all.

These are just the thoughts of an unhinged woman running on very little sleep, that's a problem for another time. I keep eating at my food, thriving in the warm air of loved ones around me.

That was a big chapter for Luna and Daryl, but who knows what they have in store for them. Sorry for such a long time between updates! Hope everyone enjoys!