JJ MAYBANK IMAGINES

softcore

imagine if you need to break up with jj but he refuses, yet it wasn't enough.

warning: based around the topic of mental health - depression

Softcore - The Neighbourhood
i'm too consumed with my own life,
are we too young for this?

JJ was your favourite person you have ever met. He always knew when you needed company, or even space. Got you everything you wanted with what he had. He was the best, but your mental health wasn't. Depression overwhelmed your entire life since the day when your mother passed away. It was triggering, traumatic even.

Never had you ever thought you would get over it, and that idea still stands. Whenever JJ wasn't with you, your life would fall apart. But even when he was with you, you would put on a fake persona and pretend everything was ok. When it wasn't, nowhere close to ok.

You were worried that your mental health would weigh JJ down, like it had done to you. It was terrifying to think about and you were deeply afraid that it would come true. So, in your eyes, there was only 1 solution to solve the problem. But the idea was your biggest regret.

You were outside the Chateau by yourself, and you knew JJ was inside. You could see his silhouette through the open house outside the back garden on the hammock. Smoke dissipated through the air, so you knew he was smoking through his juul. It was common, you used to do it together. It was fun to smoke together, but you also knew you would never do it again after this.

You sighed before walking inside the house and to the back garden. You saw his beautiful, blonde hair waving in the cold atmosphere. You were never going to be able to touch it again, the soft feeling in your delicate hands. You could feel the happy essence radiating off of his body, which you realised that was going to change in a matter of a minute.

The mood was incredible for him and the exact opposite for you.

"Hey," You spoke aloud with a cracked voice. He turned in your direction from hearing you with a smile on his face.

"Hey baby, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were staying home today?" He turned his body completely and faced you. He patted the seat next to him in which you obeyed and sat there. He moved the only pillow that was once behind his back and placed it so it was behind you now. You felt awful.

"Yeah, just needed to talk I guess," His face changed at the mention of the common phrase. Wherever someone said 'they needed to talk', it was rarely a good thing. Normally, it meant the worst. And in this situation, it was.

JJ batted his lashes a few times and re-situated his hands on his lap for reassurance. You could see him tap his lap multiple times, JJ did that when he was stressed, "Oh, what about?"

"Um... us," You felt the sudden sadness from him and the change of his face. It was once happy and now it was your fault that it was different. It was your fault that he wasn't happy.

"What about us? You don't love me?" JJ worriedly said.

Your eyes widened, "No! No that's not it! It's just, um," You mirrored his actions and tapped your lap to reduce stress, yet it didn't work. It only made you psych yourself out. If you didn't do this, JJ would turn out like you. Broken. And you didn't need that, you wanted him to be happy. Because JJ deserved it; he deserved happiness and the world.

"Why do you need to talk then?"

You sighed before you spoke aloud, "I think we need to break up."

JJ felt like his life had just ended. Like his heart had just been ripped out his chest and was stomped on the ground. His eyes swelled up with tears but he exhaled a breath to stop him from crying. But it didn't work, it only made a tear drip down onto his cheek.

"W-what?" JJ managed to stutter out. It was the only thing that escaped from his lips.

You bit down onto your bottom lip to stop you from sobbing your heart out. This was the hardest thing you had to do.

"Why? What did I do wrong?" You began to freak out. It was definitely not your intention to make him feel like it was his fault. Because it wasn't, it was your mental health.

You swatted your hands in the air, "No! No, it's not your fault. It's mine," He seemed even more confused now. Your heart began to physically hurt from the pain you were experiencing. Little did you know, it was mutual for JJ too.

"Then why are you doing this?" He chocked out. You could see more tears fall down onto his already tear stained cheek. His eyes were full of sadness, broken even. That was the emotion he was feeling. A small part of you thought he would play a cool demeanour and act like it didn't affect him, but he was breaking before your eyes.

"Because it's for the best."

JJ frantically shook his head, "No, no! This isn't for the best, Y/N. I love you so much, you can't do this to me," JJ attempted to grab your hands but you ripped them away from his grasp.

"Please don't make this harder then it needs to be," You voiced out with a cracked throat. JJ shook his head and tried to grab your hands again, but you repeated the same actions. You could feel his muscular arms being wrapped around your body. He tried to hold you down, but not in a violent way. In a 'please don't leave me' way.

"JJ, no," You stood up from the hammock and stepped back. JJ wasn't going to let you go easily, so he mirrored your actions and quickly walked towards you. He didn't care enough for his juul, since he threw it on the floor. He only cared for you and only you.

JJ followed you until he reached your figure that was slowly disappearing from his. He grabbed your forearm and turned you around, making you face each other. He didn't hesitate for another second, so he rested his hand onto your cheek. He stroked your face lightly, as well as letting another tear drop onto his cheek.

"Y/N, I am begging you, please don't leave me. You are the best thing that has happened to me, I can't lose you," JJ continued to stroke you, which only made you want to stay with him. Let him hug you until the sunset rises, kiss you delicately like he always used to do. Love you like you used to.

"JJ, I love you so much, but this is for the best. I can't be trouble in your life, it's too much," You rested your hand on his and moved your face so you were facing his hand. You placed a soft kiss on his veiny palm before looking deep into his ocean eyes that were filled with tears ready to come out.

JJ was too stunned to speak. He could believe he was about to lose the most important person in his life without a reasonable answer. He so badly wanted to speak out his heart, but he couldn't. His mouth wasn't co-operating enough to talk, so you had enough time to rip his hand off your cheek.

JJ began silently sobbing from the loss of contact. He tried to reach out to you again, but to no avail, he failed. Without wasting any more time, you turned around so your back was facing him and left him alone to drop to his knees and cry into his hands.

part 2?