Anubis

chapter 3

Syere POV

"Why do you keep doing this?" My mom yells slamming the door behind her as we returned from discharging me from the hospital.

"Mary I don't think we should do this right now." My father tries to butt in.

"No. This is the fifth time this year she's tried to take her life. I'm sick of it Jesse. I can't even leave the house for five minutes without wondering if she's home trying to harm herself again. Always watching every minute because I'm scared she's gonna do it again."

I stare at her unable to find my voice.

"And when I do look away for a split second I'm always disappointed in the end. I've already lost one child and I'm constantly on the verge of losing another. Why are you doing this?" She screams at me.

I continue to stand there quietly as she berated me.

"It hurts Syere. You're hurting—" She weeps.

"Don't you think I know that?!" I snap unexpectedly which causes her to shut up immediately.

"Do you think I like being like this? I fucking hate it Mom! I hate it!" I screamed my voice breaking in the process.

"Do you know how much I've wished that I was the one that died that night instead of my brother because atleast he'd appreciate being alive. Unlike me right? Your ungrateful, emotionless, suicidal daughter." I spat.

Her face pales hearing the words she screamed at my dad about me a few days ago and the room goes silent.

"You have no idea how much I blame myself for that night. You have no idea what it feels like waking up every day cursing yourself because everyone is dying around you and your unable to feel any empathy because they've been given the one thing you've practically beg for. Death."

I shot up in bed my eyes burning with tears. I quickly wipe them away as Anubis woke up.

"Syere." He calls reaching his hand out for me but I push them away getting off the bed.

"Don't touch me." I sigh frustrated at myself wiping my face.

"Fuck." I curse still bothered by that dream.

Why did I have that dream now?

I shake the thoughts out of my head.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He questions as I grabbed a towel.

I ignore him making my way to the bathroom to shower and change but I'm stopped when he grabs my arm.

"Syere." He calls again his voice gentle.

I pause slowly turning my eyes to him my frustration threatening to spill out.

"Let me go please." I begged.

He doesn't budge looking at me with a pitiful expression which irritates me further.

I hate feeling pity.

"Can you not look at me like that?" I mutter snatching my arm away. "I'm fine."

"I never said you weren't."

I leave him there going to shower.

I enter the bathroom shuddering softly as I held back my tears. I sigh stripping from the shirt I wore and stepping into the shower.

The water sprays on my head and trickles down my body as I stared at the tiles below my feet unable to fully understand why I'm upset.

I cry softly falling to my knees as the water poured down my head gently.