Admiring HER

22

Abel's POV 

I am sorry if this chapter has more than a few errors because I wrote this chapter while crying.... Enjoy

I bunked the rest of my classes not feeling like it when my phone rang ,it was mom "yeah mom"
"your sister is gonna stay with us " I couldn't believe it
"serious ??"
"yesss!!!"
"we getting her today?"
"yes so hurry home and bring Fay "

I hang up and run back into school ,Fay had math now so i run to her class and see her sitting at the back of the room "Mam the principal is calling Fay " I shout ,she says something to Fay and Fay soon follow me "why am i being called?"
"you aren't"
"Abel you jackass ! I am going back "
"noo ,my sister is coming home and mom wants you there "
"when ?"
"now"

She is silent for a while before walking ahead of me ,we get in the car and i drive home ,I rush in when i see the gate open "Julie!!!" I grab her in my arms hugging her "I missed you so much "
"i missed you to "

My sister is still in primary school (3rd Grade) but she sure has a mouth and won't hesitate to cuss or say she doesn't like you but she is also very emotional "How was that place ?"
"i hated it i wanna stay here and never leave "
"i know and i promise you will always stay with me "

She hugs me again "who are you ?" she looks at Fay 
"Fay ,I'm your neighbor"
"ohh i remember, dad said i shouldn't talk to you because you are to fat and ugly "

I see Fay look at her with tears in her eyes "JULIE SAY SORRY " mom shouts her "no its okay its fine she is still small "
"yeah i am but dad was wrong you are very pretty and so what if you are fat"
"thanks Julie"

I see Fay walk outside and i follow her while mom catches up with Julie . I see her stand near the tree and i hear her small sniffles "Fay don't worry about what she said "
"yeah i am not I'm good "

I walk up to her and turn her towards me ,tears stroll down her cheeks as she tries to wipe them away "Talk to me Fay "
"no"
"please even if you don't want to you have to "

"The pain i feel when these words are said is so much ,it hold so much of harm that it's unexplained nor can i comprehend it ,In school its worse .I am so tired of being hurt ,i know i am not pretty ,i know i am not thin i know i am not perfect but i always think that people will except me if i am good ,i became good yet people still talked about me ,made fun of me . I began being myself ,i stopped pretending and being fake yet they still talk .Still consider me fat and mean ,i have made mistakes but i try to repent for it ,my life is a mess and its not only because of my weight i just always doubt myself even if i look good or think i look good i always question myself 

before we dated i have always wondered if boys even looked at me ,i have been rejected so many times all because i am fat and it comes to a point when the solution becomes the problem ,At first the pain made me strong but each time i got rejected indirectly or even to my face it becomes more painful,i cut myself praying it would make me forget ,that I'd be content but no it's never that case and i am so sick and tired ,i say i look good ,i say i am happy but i am not 

I hate my body ,i hate my self so much Abel and you make me feel good ,before you no guy not even my dad ever said anything good to me ,every male in my life made me feel ugly and worthless to a point when it made me cut it made me want to kill myself ,Ryder is the only thing that makes me happy and i love him but soon after you came along and you make me feel so special words cannot describe it ,every valentines day would be a day that i hated and wish never existed .I prayed every night for God to help me love myself so that someone else would but it never came each time i had hope it was broken ,and your sisters words just made me feel all this all over again "

She cries and hugs me ,she feels so much pain were as i didn't ever feel the ways she did ,i never had the urge to self harm but her "Fay first of all promise me you won't ever harm yourself please , i don't ever want you to be in pain "
"i can't promise you that "
"please "
"no"
"well if you do it I'll do it with you but worse"
"Abel don't be a jackass ,i just cried out my heart and pain to you and you fucking give me this .Go to hell " She was about to  walk away but i grab her hand and push her against the tree"i heard each word and i need you to know how much you mean to me ,you are going through alot Fay and i had no idea i am so sorry babe "
"you don't have to be "
"I love you Fay"
"what "

I get closer to her and kiss her softly ,my hands hug her thick body as my lips make contact with hers "I love you so fucking much Fay and i swear I'll wait till you forgive me "
"i forgive you "
"are you serious ?"
"yeah"
 

I don't wait a second more before smashing my lips on hers  she takes a while before she kisses back ,i have waited so long to hug and kiss her its damn shocking "Fay do you love me ?"
"i think so "
"I'll wait "
"you will wait for a lot of things huh "
"yess only for you "

..........

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