Chapter Eight: Recovery Part Two

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*Warning: Speaks about depression and anxiety. If anyone needs help or a friend please contact me, author-sensei!*

{Levi's Point of View}

I lifted (your first name) into my arms and carried her down the stairs to the basement were Hanji's lab was located. When I did so, she slightly whined in pain.

"Oh, let me help you!" Hanji cleared off a seat for (your first name) to sit at. She whined once more and held onto her side. "How much pain are you in on a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest?" 

"It doesn't matter. I'm already drugged up beyond belief. There's just some pain medication can't take away. It doesn't help that my entire body feels bruised." (Your first name) scoffed.

"I take it you haven't been to the bathroom yet then?" (Your name) shook her head. "Don't panic when you see yourself. There are still bruises from your surgery and from the different places I've placed your IVs. It's no wonder you're in so much pain." Hanji looked down in guilt.

"Don't look so down. You did your job well." (Your first name) patted Hanji on the back. "Anyway, I came down here to ask about my medicine."

"Your medicine?" Hanji paused in thought. "Oh, your medicine! You can take it normally from now on since you're awake again."

(Your first name) nodded. What medicine were they talking about. "What secret or you two hiding?"  

"It's not a secret." (Your first name) spoke. "Hanji is trying to develop a few new medications for soldiers. She was allowed to have one person help her in her studies and that's me. Once the medication finishes it trail with positive results, a trail will open up to a select group of soldiers. If that goes well, then the medicine will be approved and she will have created a medication that's extremally useful. The only reason you haven't heard about it yet is because it hasn't reached to the open trail."

"Is it safe to tell me than?"

"Mmm." Hanji nodded. "We are almost finished with the one person trail anyway."

I raised a brow. "And what's this medicine for?"

There was a pause while (Your first name) looked at Hanji. Hanji didn't look back and (Your first name) took it upon herself to answer my question. 

"Have you ever felt like your live wasn't worth living? Like there was no reason for your existence and you'd be better off dead? Or have you ever just looked at yourself and hated yourself so much that you wish harm onto yourself and may even harm yourself on purpose? The first medication Hanji is developing is meant to ease those thoughts away. Now, have you ever felt like you were sweating and on the verge of just collapsing and crying or screaming? Has your heart ever raced for no apparent reason? Do you constantly look around your surrounding when you're in a safe environment because your paranoid? The second medication will ease these feelings away."

"And how do you know if the medicine works?"

"Hanji first creates a drug that doesn't cause horrible side effects such as vomiting or bleeding. After that she monitors me through a series of test to see if my symptoms are getting better. If they are then the first trail is over and we can move on to the next step. The next step is try it on others and see if it works with the majority."

"Symptoms? What do you mean?"

"You know." Hanji started to explain. "You feel some of those (Your first name) listed and..."

"No. Not that. I meant why is (Your last name) your test dummy for this?"

"Because Hanji knows I struggle with these thoughts and feelings more than anyone else." I caught my breath. What did she mean? Did she have thoughts that she would be better off dead? Is this way she had aimed the gun to her head? "Anyway... I don't know how but I'm absolutely beat. I should head back to the infirmary. I need a bath as well." (Your first name) changed the topic as if she didn't want to talk about it anymore. 

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