Chapter Fifteen: Awkward Interactions with Emotions

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Alazne

          Joshua tsked as he leafed through my math test—all three pages mocked me heavily with ‘x’s and the number  zero. “Don’t give me that look,” I defended myself, placing my hand on the papers. Joshua’s thumb brushed against mine as he reeled it effortlessly away.

          “With these marks, I don’t think you have a right to tell someone off,” Joshua said, the tips of his lips lifted upward. He shook the paper in the air. I reached for the papers, trying to ignore our closeness. I hated being so self-conscious—I didn’t know why I was, but I was.

          I bit my lip and tried to reach for them again. Joshua laughed, lifting them probably a foot higher with his arms.  Going on my tip-toes I tried again, my eyes focused on the goal.  “Give it,” I said between barred teeth, this made Josh laugh harder. “I thought you needed help.”

          “Not anymore!” with that swift movement of my arm, I basically flung myself onto him. His free arm draped around my waist, tugging me down onto the floor.

          Breathless, I waited until my body caught up with my mind. Josh groaned from underneath me, cursing under his breath. His hand found my shoulder and shook me upward into a sitting position. Like a mold of clay, I obediently sat there on my knees. Josh moved back until his back was leaning on the wall, his right hand covering his mouth. We didn’t just… I couldn’t get the word to escape my mind—i couldn’t process it. It wasn’t the first time—the first time was in the janitor closet.

          I watched josh as he raked his hair with his left hand. I wanted to figure him out. He seemed in disarray, (understandable since he just fell onto the ground) and was like me…recovering.

          His cheeks were in a faded red tone and his disheaved hair was angled in multiple directions. His eyes met mine—“Did you just bite my lip?” Josh’s fingers traced his bottom lip, revealing a small red bite mark.

          I tensed, and the room got ten times warmer. “No!” I blurted out an obvious like…for Pete’s sake the evidence is right on his lip, Alana! I turned my head away from him. “Don’t be such a weirdo. Who would bite your lip?”

          Josh scoffed, “apparently you would. If you wanted motivation to do better you could have just asked.”

          “You think that’s motivation? If anything, I was just trying to get you shut up. Too bad it just made it worse.” I said, picking up my test. I dusted the invisible dust off, and stood up. “Your hopeless, you know that? Carter would actually help me—not…bully me,” I spat. I spun and my heels and began to walk back to my room.

          I began to slow down as I approached the entrance to the hallway. For once Josh was quiet—did he faint? My blood went cold and I spun around again.

            Josh was dusting himself off and trying to flatten his hair. His brows shot up when he saw me, and a smug smile crossed his lips. “What? You want to try to ‘shut me up’ again?” he used air quotations.

           My face heated him as began walking away, this time grabbing the phone off the charger on my way out. I stopped out of the exit, trying to gain the nerve to call Carter again.

          My hands traced the keypad of the phone as I mimicked the motion of my fingers dialing Carter’s number. I had it memorized by now, calling Carter seemed natural to me—he was after all the first friend I ever spoke to over the phone.  I exhaled…why was I so nervous?

          I thumbed the numbers, and pressed the phone to my ear. One ring…two…three…my body tensed. A warm breeze fell upon the back of my neck. I shuddered, knowing very well what the source was or who it was...Josh.

          “Wait,” Josh said. “I’ll help you.”  His fingers slowly pried my fingers off the phone, and a beep sounded—ending my call. A couple strands of his hair tickled my neck, as I felt his forehead against mine. “Don’t call him,” he whispered. The hand holding the phone fell to his side, this made me more cautious about the hand around my mid-section. I held my breath, trying not to move.

            His body was sending a nice warm heat around me. “I promise I won’t tease you about your marks. Just don’t call him. Don’t call Carter.”

          I gulped, unsure on how to respond. Josh’s voice was quiet, and it seemed like a weak plea…I slowly eased into his arm. Absent-mindedly, my left hand slowly found itself on his hand.

          “Why?”

          My heart skipped a beat.

          “I don’t know.”

Joshua

          My arm tightened around her. She was going to call Carter…was going to call, my mind buzzed. Not anymore. She’s not going to call him.

          The reassuring feel of Alana’s hand on mind was like a barrier around my aching leg, head and the throb from her bite on my lip. Her presence near me before the fall caught me off guard, I could’ve handled her weight—support us both.

          I closed my eyes, shuddering I said, “Just don’t call him now.”

          Alana stiffened. “Why?” She repeated.

          My breath got caught in my throat. “I don’t know.” I wish I did though, does that count? I want to add, but…it seemed off. It seemed wrong to tease her…I didn’t want to lose her to Carter.

          I parted away from her, taking a couple steps back. I hated this feeling—this possessive feeling. Why did I care who she wanted to talk to or call or whatever? It wasn’t my business.

          Alana turned around, her eyes fell onto mine. Her eyes quivering, like she was trying to dig into my mind and her lips were parted just a bit. If her lips moved a tad bit up, it would’ve been our second kiss. I wondered what kind of outcome that would bring.

          Would I kiss her back? Would she? Did I want to kiss her again? Who was she to me? My head swarmed with random questions. I wonder what would happen if…

          The phone vibrated in my hand, shocking my whole body. Grateful, I pressed the receiving button--Beatrice, thanks--

          “Alana?” Carter asked.

          My jaws tightened. “It’s Raynard,” I stopped myself from growling. My eyes fell on Alana who seemed to be in her own world.

          “Oh.”

          “Sorry to disappoint you,” I tried to lighten the mood. “What’s up?”

          “I heard some noises from the call—is Alana there?”

          I sucked my breath and extended the phone toward her. “It’s Carter,” I said. I wanted to plead her to say she was busy, or she didn’t want to talk but Alana just reached forward and clasped the phone in her hand.

          She bobbed her head. “Thanks,” she muttered, before bringing the phone to her ear. A smile fixated her face as her finger wrapped a strand of hair around it.

          A part of my top lip lifted upward, in form of a small snarl. I shook my head, I am not an animal. I am just upset that Alana wants Carter over me…because...

          I shook my head to remove that thought. That was impossible. Alana and I are just friends—if Alana wants to be with Carter she has my full support. She would have my support if Carter wasn’t so annoying.

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