For Archon's Sake

A Wish Or Two, Please?

Once they got back to the house, Childe tipped some mora into a pouch and began to head out towards the dirt roads, humming to himself. Zhongli stood in front of the door, arms folded. Damn, Childe noted dreamily, he cleans up well. The consultant had traded his dirty clothes for black trousers, a tucked-in white blouse covered in an overcoat of orange and gold brocade, and polished black leather boots. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Childe winked. "So impatient! Don't worry, I'll let you have me however you want when we return. I need food." Zhongli sputtered, his arms going slack at his sides. "Surely you don't expect to enter Wanmin Restaurant looking like that?" Childe shrugged. "Something tells me the staff won't care if I tip them handsomely enough." Zhongli pinched his nose and dragged Childe to his bedroom. "I just got the chance to be mortal, Childe. And yet I have a feeling you'll be the one to bring the opportunity to a halt once you inevitably kill me with your antics." He pointed at the hamper near the door. "Strip." Childe raised his eyebrows. "And if I wanted to protect my chastity?" Zhongli narrowed his eyes. "Take it off," he gritted out, "I will not look while you change. Wait here while I grab clothes, please ."

Childe waved his hands, shooing him away. "Fine, fine, old man. Your wish is my command." Zhongli's eyes widened. "Did you just call me old ma-" "We are going to be late if you don't hurry, Zhongli," Childe said smoothly, taking off his boots. He turned his back and began tugging his gloves off with his teeth, relishing the hard swallow that came from behind him. He smiled to himself. There was no sound of Zhongli moving. "Weren't you leaving?" Childe quipped. He slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter as he heard the consultant stomp off and mutter to himself. Your Majesty. This has been an interesting gift you have given me.

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Childe frowned as he picked up the chopsticks, examining them once more like doing so might make his hands have the ability to use them properly. "We meet again my arch-nemesis," he murmured, stabbing one into a poor unsuspecting dumpling. Zhongli just sipped his duck and mint broth, one of fifteen dishes the consultant insisted that Childe order to "ensure the best dining experience possible". "I was under the impression that I was your arch-nemesis, Childe." "Oh you're definitely up there," he said, biting the dumpling and savoring the kick the Jueyun chili gave it, "but I see you as a non-threat. This chopstick is a worthy adversary." Zhongli chuckled. "I see. Perhaps you should fight it instead of me."

"And miss seeing the look on your face when I finally take you seriously and kick your ass? Absolutely not," Childe scoffed. No matter that he was a god who had slain many in the Archon War; he still wanted to see how far he could push himself, wanted to see whether Rex Lapis' mortal form could give him the thrill he always looked for. Zhongli rested his head in his hand. "I know we agreed to...certain actions after this dinner ends, but I wanted to take you to one more place. It's far but I think-" "Okay."

"I think you will like it," Zhongli finished, then blinked. "Wait what?" Childe smiled, reaching for a golden shrimp ball. "I said okay. This entire day has been exciting, I don't see why it should end so quickly. Besides, we'll have plenty of time to see how much of a mess I can make of you when we return." Zhongli coughed, hiding his face behind his drinking glass. "Please refrain from discussing our proposed activities so explicitly in public. And anyway, are you sure your body is up to it? Our scuffle earlier-" "Is not an issue. I don't break easily; I wouldn't be a Harbinger if I did." Childe was sure of that. The Tsaritsa did not tolerate weakness in her ranks, especially her chosen. Zhongli studied him for a moment, and something like awe settled on his features. "I fear I do not give your archon enough credit." Childe didn't even get the chance to properly breathe before Zhongli took his hand and kissed it gently, meeting Childe's widened eyes without an ounce of hesitation. "She knows a diamond in the rough when she sees one."