Mythrodak and SeenSven Oneshots [DISCONTINUED]

[Oneshot] Attempt? Ha! never again

Requested by: @p20170121
You know when I said it'd be up on Saturday or Sunday? There was actually a secret Monday option that I didn't reveal to you
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Gaia's Vault is the epitome of perfection, it is inescapable. It saw the flaws of other prisons and removed them. It saw its strengths and built on them.

Its entry process was different. It was more secure, safer for the guard, harder to pull a fast one. Even a trusted visitor would have difficulty in trying anything. There were portal traps, chunk bans, bed traps, indestructible end crystals, guardians, regenerating cell—you get it. It's a warden's wet dream.

Gaia's Vault is a product of lunati—geniuses coming together. Thinking of possible escape attempts, and coming up with counters for said attempts. Improving old designs and creating new processes to the point previous procedures had to be modernized.

Of course, that wouldn't stop Mythro from making an escape plan. And backup ones, no less.

Sure, it did stump him for a while. He couldn't think of a way to bypass its inspection system, couldn't think of a way out of the cell, couldn't think of what items can help him, or a way to take advantage of the chunk bans. But in the end, he still thought of an escape plan weeks before Gaia's Vault was finished. So he'd call that a win.

And now, he just had to put it to the test. Shulker box and pickaxe in hand, he was about to see if all that planning and practice would pull off.

.

He did not expect the guards to break the obsidian that fast.

Before he could even throw to the ender pearls and golden apples into the cell, he was yanked from behind. A guard telling him to drop everything in his inventory.

He paid no mind to guard gripping his arms. Instead, he cursed at himself for such a big oversight. He was so used to past prisons not giving their guards pickaxes that he thought the same things applied here.

Apparently, at some point in planning he forgot that this place was 'the epitome of perfection'. That oversight made him think he had at least 9 minutes before they could break the obsidian. But noooo, they had pickaxes.

Whatever, it just means he's staying longer than expected. A contingency plan where you don't need to smuggle in items in case you get caught? Piece of cake, he had plenty.

The guard, noticing Mythro didn't drop his items, repeated his demands.

Mythro, deciding that he probably wouldn't be able to beat an armed guard that could break his shoulders, drops the pearls and gapples. A second guard picks them up, the first guard's vice grip falters a bit, letting Mythro breath.

The guard's grip was tight, tight enough where Mythro took damage from it. There was a slight chill, a familiar effect of regeneration. He remembers it from all the times he's been chased and forced to gobble them when he was low. It was like magic, cause it was.

Oh god, he's reminiscing, it truly is hopeless.

.

Splish.

Splash.

Splosh. Spleesh

He's starting to hate this contingency plan.

Not even because it takes too long—it's only been a day. Patience is something you pick up after countless escape plans. No, he's starting to hate it because of an unaccounted event.

Something he couldn't have foreseen—a cold.

Yes yes, Mythro, the most elegant, most calculative, and honestly the best looking person in the world—has a shįt immune system.

That or the hygiene in Gaia's Vault is appalling because after he woke up in the cell, he couldn't breath anymore.

A blocked nose is the worst part of colds, and that's nonnegotiable.

He's honestly wishing he had sneaked in the golden apples at the very least. The regen effect could clear this stupid headache that only gets worse every time he blinks. Or clear his runny nose, he missed breathing.

He has actively complained about it, the speaker in the room just staying silent to his whining. Uncaring āssholes.

.

Next day, still can't breathe. And by this point, the headache is so bad he can't tell if it's gotten worse or not.

Mythro tried lying down on the floor, the water being a little above his ankle. To drown or clear his nasal cavity, he isn't sure anymore.

But the guards noticed and lowered the water, so he couldn't drown anymore. And it didn't even clear his nose. So he was just lying down in suffering!

Why can't life just give you things because you made an attempt? Is my attempt not good enough for you? He was going to die because of a fūcking cold!

He sighs, he's being delirious again. Why do colds turn your brain into mush—

.

Waking up for the third time, his cold is in a standstill. Not getting worse, not getting better.

But then, the time was after uh.. lunch? It was after the second meal. Anyway, it was like magic, his head felt clearer. And his nose wasn't trying to kill him!

He didn't feel as shįt as before, which is a good thing. It was days of zero progress finally coming to a halt.

Mythro stood up straight, stretching out his back and arms. Next time, he's gonna make sure to never make an escape attempt. Just escape, no attempt needed.

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Nope, it didn't turn into a crack fic because I have no idea how to write a sick fic for someone in a high security prison. It's because it's symbolism! for a decline in mental state.. and—yeah, I have no idea