2am texting // ziam

eighty one

it has only been an hour since niall got back, and no kind of conversation has been made between the four of us. all this tension and mystery is being suppressed inside ourselves, and we won't allow ourselves to let it free. this is practically torture.

i see niall look at harry, and harry look at niall. they share a smile, and are back to complete silence in the living room.

goddammit, i have to say something, or i'm gonna go insane.

"so niall, you didn't answer the question, how was your camping trip?"

"well, just to keep it simple and short, all we did was study animal interaction, different species of flora, and watched the effects if you mess with that stuff" niall laid back against the couch.

"wow that's nice" i said because clearly i had nothing else to say.

why does this have to be so awkward.

"li i dont feel good" zayn put his head on my shoulder and made the sad puppy face.

"sorry about this" i apologized for nothing since, obviously, no one was even making the slightest noise instead of the deep breaths we all took and also the occasional drumming of our hearts pumping blood.

i dragged zayn to the bathroom and put his face towards the toilet. then i heard him puke. but not as much as i expected from the amount of alcohol he drank.

"feel better now?" i asked him with a soft voice and he nodded back in response.

i flushed the toilet and put the top back on.

"take me to bed" zayn demanded as he struggled to stand up.

and so i did. he put his arm around my shoulder, and my arm at his waist and carried him on to the bedroom we were both sleeping in. as i laid him down onto the bed he dragged me with him.

"stay please"

"zayn i can't"

"please liam"

"zayn. no"

"i don't want to be alone"

"you're not alone. i'm here. just not together with you kind of way"

"then please take me back"

"zayn you're drunk and tired. you need some rest"

"no i don't" he sits up on the bed and murmurs something below than a whisper.

"see i'm not tired at all"

"zayn just please go to sleep"

"no"

"what would get you to fall asleep?" i sat down next to him and laid him back down.

"you"

"not right now zayn. but this is just a nightmare okay?" i took a paused and admired his face relaxing and turn into the angel i fell in love with.

"everything will be better when you wake up"

. . . .

"they can't really break up right?"

"they did"

"but zayn is drunk"

"i know"

"he won't remember anything"

"probably"

"goddammit harry why didn't you do anything?"

"i don't know niall. i really don't know"

"but then what about liam? how is he feeling?"

"you know liam"

"it's not good for his own health"

"ya remember what happened a couple years ago right?"

i eavesdropped on the conversation from a few steps away without them noticing me i was even there. i hear as they share the past about me among themselves. still can't believe they would talk about this behind my back instead of talking about it with me. why can't i just get a happy ending for once? i was really hoping zayn would be my happy ending. but now i know that not everything is an endless ocean.

"it took him months to recover"

"and the recovering was the worst part"

"and all those night he went missing and didn't come back"

"and when he did—"

i interrupted them before they could finish their gossip.

"zayn fell asleep" i walked further into the couch and sat down across from them.

"so what were you guys talking about?"