The Compromising of Elizabeth Bennet: A pride and prejudice variation

Part 6 - A proposal of marriage

Elizabeth overslept for one of the first times in her life. They had not returned from the ball until the early hours of the morning. They had in fact been the last family to leave, Mrs Bennet wanting to give Jane as much time in Mr Bingley's company as possible. Despite being exhausted Elizabeth had found herself tossing and turning through the night, reliving the events of the evening. Knowing how close she had come to being raped by Mr Wickham sent a shiver down her spine. Every shadow through the window and creak in the house had her sitting up in panic. She could not seem to stifle her fear despite knowing that Wickham was nowhere near. Determinedly she reminded herself over and over again that he had not succeeded, that she had fought him off.

Finally she forced her thoughts away from Mr Wickham and on instead to Mr Darcy. That most confusing of men. Twenty four hours ago she had been convinced that he was the worst of men. That he disliked her greatly and that she disliked him equally so back. But now she knew that to be entirely untrue. The way he had held her. She had felt so safe and protected. He had been so calm and gentle and understanding. Indeed he had barely left her side from the moment he had found her outside, to the moment he carefully handed her up into the carriage with a gentle squeeze of her hand.

And that kiss. She could not believe she had kissed him. Just the thought of it had butterflies erupting in her stomach. Privately she admitted to herself that she wanted to kiss him again. And so it was that she eventually drifted off to sleep with fantasies concerning Mr Darcy filling her head.

Finally awakening and climbing out of bed she was surprised to find that she was still the first one of her family to rise. But then again late for Elizabeth was still early to everyone else, especially the day after a ball. Pleased to see the sun shining, Elizabeth grabbed an apple and scone from the kitchen and proceeded outside. Setting off on her favourite walk she allowed herself to just enjoy the fresh air and nature, following the familiar trail up to the top of Oakham Mount.

Sitting down and looking out onto her favourite view she felt in a much better frame of mind this morning to consider her thoughts around the two men from Derbyshire.

On Mr Wickham her thoughts were clear. He was a dastardly scoundrel who could not be trusted. Certainly she never wished to be in his company again, though she knew there was a high probability that she would be. He was a favourite of her younger sisters in particular, and all of the militia officers were welcome at the Bennet household, courtesy of her mother. Thinking about Kitty and Lydia she grew even more concerned. What if Wickham tried to take advantage of one of them? She could not even say with certainty that Lydia would even stop any inappropriate behaviour. Stupid and niave as she was. She would probably think it a great lark and not consider the consequences to her actions in the slightest.

She would have to speak to her father. To somehow make him act to protect her family, though she was not sure how exactly she would manage that. Her father generally allowed her mother and sisters free reign so long as they did not bother him. But he must be made to see the danger of this with such a man as Wickham in their midst. But she could not tell him the truth. To admit to what had happened would see her ruined and her entire family smeared by association. Resolved to speak to her father in vague terms she turned her thoughts to the other gentleman with whom she had been alone last night.

Her feelings about Mr Darcy were so muddled she didn't know where to begin. His behaviour last night had been so vastly different to everything which had preceded it. And his confession! His confession that he admired her, found her handsome. Her fine eyes and teasing smile he had said. She did not know what to think. Did she find him handsome? Reluctantly she had to admit the answer was yes. But that did not excuse his rude, cold behaviour to both her and her family. Indeed to all the residents of Meryton. She thought back on all the times she had seen Mr Darcy interacting with others and recalled his stiffness and reluctance to engage in conversation. It had seemed like arrogance but is that because she had already disliked him at that point, and therefore was ready to assume the worst of him. Perhaps if looked at in another light, shyness rather than arrogance. His behaviour still made sense in this new context but was far more understandable and forgivable. When she thought about how boisterous Meryton society could be, none more so than her own family, was it any wonder that a shy newcomer may struggle.