Amentia

Chapter 8 - All this life

Zoe came out of the portal feet first. She hit the ground with a loud thump and felt so many things at once that it was hard to discern what was what. She felt as though her entire body had been broken to pieces and then put back together. A high-pitched ringing hurt her ears so much she thought they might bleed, but the noise ended in an instant. She hesitated in opening her eyes, in fear that she had imagined that door and that the only thing surrounding her now was coworkers waiting to see if she would wake up from her fainting. How would she cope if the door hadn't been real, if it had been a childish dream, and she had no escape from her suffocating life?

But then she noticed... she wasn't suffocating. The air she was breathing was real air. It was so real it almost made her dizzy when she filled her lungs with it. It was almost too pure for her contaminated body. She took a minute to breathe it in, enjoy it.

With her arms stretched to the sides, her hands touched the smoothest, most flawless wood she had ever felt. It was strong, unyielding —it had to hold a portal in place, after all—, but it was also soft and kind, ready to catch the people who came flying out of the portal so they didn't hurt themselves. Zoe could feel its kindness under her entire body, and was certain that she didn't hurt because of the landing but because of the trip itself. This floor had softened the fall for her and for everyone else who happened to land on it.

She opened her eyes, feeling excitement bubbling up in her veins. She noticed two things at once: the light of the portal behind her head and the figure of a strange man in front of her. As she sat up, slowly so as to avoid getting lightheaded, he welcomed her with his hands crossed in front of his chest. The man was a white, hairy fox. He smiled at her with a gentleness and understanding that took Zoe's breath away for a moment.

"Where am I? And who are you?" she asked more roughly than she had intended.

"You are in Amentia, and I am the portal keeper," he replied with a voice so soothing it was almost a match for this floor.

A new world; a world far away.

Zoe stood up, breathing irregularly, feeling embraced, clearheaded, and alive.

"Come," the fox-man said. "I imagine you are in terrible need to see what is outside."

The sight of the forest nearly drove Zoe to her knees. She steadied herself on the banister and kept her eyes on the wondrous place that surrounded her. The color, the light, the purity, the silent words, the new shapes and their distinctive personalities. So much life. It was almost too much to bear, after spending twenty-five years drowning.

"It is far more beautiful from up-close," he told her and led her to the end of the corridor, to the left of which a flight of stairs took her down to the grass. She climbed down the steps as fast as she could.

The purple grass. Mowed to the perfect height, watered the perfect amount, treated with the respect it deserved. Zoe only took one step before she fell to her knees and sunk her fingers into the ground, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

"No plant connects to the earth through its branches," the fox-man said behind her. "They do it through their roots."

Zoe turned around just in time to see the fox-man give her a knowing smile and walk back to the portal room. Understanding his message, Zoe sat back on the ground to take off her shoes and socks, letting her roots free of their cages.

When she stood up, the clarity of it all struck her so violently that she couldn't stop herself from crying. The roots stretched longer than she could see, connected to everything. She let the earth sip through her skin, speak to her, and show her every single leaf within reach, every movement of the ground, every insect feeding of nectar, every drop of water being absorbed, every ray of sun giving its warmth. It was like she was finally able to see properly for the first time in her entire life. She wiggled her toes, letting the earth get between them, smiling to herself and feeling all the nature around her greeting her, welcoming her, embracing her, saving her. So many plants she had never seen or read about before. So much to discover, to walk, to touch, to meet. So much love and warmth that she had never received before. So many years of her life wasted away when she could've been here, among all this purple, all this life, this purity, this magic. She felt the energy flow through her, joining the blood in her veins with the water and magic in the roots. The life of the forest flew within her, injecting her with the kind of bliss that she had spent her whole existence looking for.

As she wept, she let herself be filled and overwhelmed with joy and peace. She let the forest speak to her, show her just how far Amentia spread. She got glimpses of mountains, a volcano, an even deeper forest, an enormous rowan tree not far from where she stood, villages, farms, shores that led to vast oceans; all connected through these roots that flew underneath her feet.

Zoe had the sudden realization that she was finally home.