Amentia

Chapter 20 - Bad dreams only

Zoe heard the sound of her mother's voice. Or rather, her nagging. You're late for your big date, you have to get your hair done and your make-up, we have to find you a decent outfit, if only you had agreed to go shopping with me, Zoe... what am I going to do with you? Your sisters weren't this much trouble.

Zoe sighed as deeply as her lungs let her. Another date. When was this going to end?

Suddenly she found herself sitting on a bench inside a museum with a broad-shouldered man next to her explaining with tangible arrogance that the brush strokes of the painting hanging before them were associated with a certain style of a certain time and place and which had a certain meaning, very deep and extraordinary and unique, and blah, blah, blah.

Zoe felt the world around her fade as she found herself holding that man's hand, wearing a white dress and saying the two most dreadful and binding words of her life. And suddenly she was in a house that was all gray and no green, and she felt her will to live weaken. She was touched even after saying she felt no desire or pleasure in it, and all the air was sucked out of her when she saw a small baby in her arms, born out of misery and pain, ugly like its father.

And there was no oxygen, no green, just walls lined with stupid paintings of flowers and trees, mocking her, and a floor that was too thick to feel anything under it, and the crying of an unwanted child calling for its mommy. Her world was a prison, it blinded her, it choked her, it numbed her, it broke her, it killed her.

Zoe opened her eyes abruptly and saw the morning sky through purple-leafed trees. She closed her eyes again, sighing in relief and feeling the ground underneath her. She could see again, the world was clear and the oxygen was pure and wonderful. But a figure coming up from her left shook the relief out of her just as quickly, and golden dust began swarming around, making her feel drowsy.

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Natalia was walking home from class when she felt her heart sink. She'd been paying attention to the sunlight, catching the last bits of its name, when a more important name disappeared from her mind... the most important name. The world went silent as Santiago's name vanished. Nati reached desperately, clutching at whatever tiny remnants of it might still be left in her mind. But it was gone, every syllable, every sound. Her best friend's true name was lost forever.

Natalia ran then, as fast as she could, to where Santi was. She knew he was at the park somehow. She kept calling Santi's name, his humanly given name, hoping it might have some power in it, even if just a little. How would Nati keep her friend safe if she couldn't call his true name? How could she keep him off the edge? She was the only one who could help him. God, please be okay, please be okay.

She saw Santi running away from a tall, robust figure hidden in shadows. And he ran and ran until he bumped into someone and fell down. He stood up quickly, his eyes wide and his teeth bared, like a wolf. He yelled something at the featureless person, shoving them back and threatening them. The person was much smaller than him, and he smiled when they tripped backwards and fell. He picked them up by the collar of their shirt and punched them in the face once, twice, ten times. The tall, shadowy figure stood next to him, observing him. Santi turned his head to look at it and then, as if following an order, he kicked the other down and laughed at their pain. The laugh echoed in the air. Nati was still running towards him, but she couldn't reach him, and she couldn't call his name to make him stop. She yelled and yelled for him, but Santi kept hitting and shoving and kicking until the person fell down one last time and never moved again.

Nati woke up with tears in her eyes and a profound sadness in her chest. She sniffed and rubbed her face with her hands. She searched her mind and found the name, clear as it had ever been. She spoke it just in case, hoping at least a frail echo would reach him from this distance, worlds apart. She felt a bit better afterwards, knowing her greatest fear still hadn't happened. But her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden appearance of a figure to her right and golden dust covering the air around them.