Wrong for Me

36|is this the end

NAOMI COLE—OCTOBER

A PANG RAN STRAIGHT to my heart as I glanced down at Dante lying in bed beside me, the moonlight filtering through the window illuminating his peacefully slumbering frame. Although he looked the calmest he had been in the past few weeks, I wondered how he was able to do so when he clearly hadn't been himself for so long.

Turning away from him, I slid off the bed and made my way into the bathroom adjoining his room, closing the door behind me as softly as possible. I let out a deep sigh as I leaned against the marble countertop, lifting my head to gaze at myself in the mirror. I hadn't been crying, yet my eyes were somehow already red-rimmed and filled with a sadness that I never wanted myself to experience ever again.

After Jonathan, I promised myself I would never let another man's actions dictate my feelings. For too long, someone else manipulated the trajectory of my days, each and every one of my actions, and the course of my life—and I wouldn't let that happen again. For too long I've been quiet about Dante's sudden switch in emotion, and I decided I wouldn't take it anymore.

The sound of the door creaking open made me jump. "You okay? You've been in here for a while," Dante spoke in a raspy tone, his eyes locked on me and squinted as he adjusted to the harsh lighting of the bathroom.

"Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine."

He kept his gaze locked on me, clearly not believing my words. I didn't know whether it was the expression on my face, that I used the word 'fine', or if he could just read my emotions so well as this point. That would count for something, at least.

"Talk to me. What's wrong?"

He widened the door and motioned for me to move out ahead of him. Once I was seated on the bed, he took a seat by my side with a sizable amount of space beside him.

"This is what's bothering me," I finally spoke up, avoiding his gaze as best as I could. Before he could speak, I added, "This distance that you're putting between us. You said you want us to be together and you were the one who told everyone at work, but ever since then you've been a completely different person. I need you to tell me what's wrong."

He sucked in a deep breath that was noticeably rugged as he let it out. I watched as he ran a hand through his hair, a clear sign of his distress, before he finally raised his gaze to look at me.

"Nothing's wrong. You know I like how this relationship's going...we're doing great."

Letting out at dry laugh, I shook my head at him and how easily he deflected. "But we're not fine. I've been asking you if the depression is what's bothering you and each time, you say no. So if it's not that, then what is it."

We sat in silence for a while and I wondered if he would simply shut down once again. That seemed to be what he always did and when we got into this relationship we promised we would make changes in how we communicate with one another.

"You're right. I haven't been myself," he finally admitted, his face turned up as if it disgusted him to say it. "I think that I've just been too stressed. I should have been honest with you."

My eyes searched his, looking for any deceit, but the emotion in his eyes and the way he held my gaze reassured me that he was being truthful. A small smile made its way onto my face as I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arm around him.

"Maybe we can take a little trip around the holiday. I know its some time away, but maybe that'll help you reset," I suggested softly, letting my hand rest tenderly on his forearm.

"That sounds great," he replied, though that disgusted expression was still on his face. "Why don't you get some sleep, I know you're still tired."

"What about you?"

He pointed over to the clock on his bedside table, proving that it was four o'clock—the normal time he woke up. With a small peck, he laid me back down in bed, pulled the comforter over me and made his way out of the room.

Luckily for me, I was able to fall back asleep now that I knew what was distressing Dante. I was hopeful that this meant we could go back to how we used to be—or some version of that for the time being.

***
MY GAZE DARTED AROUND the sidewalk in front of the café I was currently sitting in, looking for one woman in particular.

After spending time in France, Daisy was finally coming back to America to continue with medical school. After the Jonathan fiasco at the charity event, Daisy had checked up on me almost instantly and shared that he had been in a similar situation with a past boyfriend. We continued talking and texting and quickly realized that it was easy to pick up from where we had left off back in France and that we had so much in common.

When I finally saw a woman walking down the street in a flowing white skirt that just barely touched the ground, a sage green shirt that showed off the entirety of her abdomen, and a headscarf wrapped around coily hair, I knew it was Daisy.

"I'm so glad you're here!" I exclaimed when she made her way into the cafe and found my table, both of us with bright smiles on our faces as we pulled each other into our embraces.

After ordering coffee and a few pastries to go along, we settled at the table and caught up with one another. We mostly talked about how busy our lives had been and even delved into a topic about hair until she finally brought up Dante.

"How's everything been between you two? I know you said something a few weeks ago about him being really distant."

My smile never wavered as I began to explain. "We actually discussed it this morning. He told me that he's just been really stressed and could use a break. He didn't mean to be distant."

"Being stressed shouldn't make him be an asshole, though. You don't act like that towards him, and I know you're stressing."

As much as I may not have wanted to admit it, she was right. I wasn't carrying one of the wealthiest companies in the country on my back, but I never took my stress out on him.

"So you think he lied to me?" I questioned Daisy who was looking at me with soft eyes laden with pity. I felt sick to my stomach.

"I can't for sure say he's lying to you, you'll have to figure that out yourself, love. But whether its that or it really is the stress, you two need to have a conversation about why he's been treating you that way."

Daisy and I traveled onto other topics that gladly livened my spirit, but the entire time I couldn't take my mind off of Dante and the fact that our relationship could be spiraling to an end before it even really began.

a/n: thank you so much for the patience!!!! i hope you all enjoyed the chapter and thank you so much for reading <3