Tethered By Lust

I own you

Cordelia

"I want to die. How do you help me with that? I know you have a degree in whatever the fuck led you in this direction but if I want to fucking jump off a platform onto an oncoming train, I'm pretty sure these one-hour sessions aren't going to change my train of thought. No pun intended."

"Morris. My job is to make you understand there is more to life than Benidorm and beans on toast. But all of this is a process and unfortunately, you can't walk in one day and walk out a new man. It just doesn't work like that and trust me I know it can be tough. It can. But as soon as you pull the plug. You will never know how far you could've gone and how much you could've enjoyed life. We have an 8-month schedule planned and it takes time. So, please just take one day at a time. You have so much to look forward to. Even when you see no light at the end of the tunnel continue walking cause there might just be a turn at the end and if not then don't let that derail you into a train. No pun intended." I repeated his words to try to induce a bit of humour.

God, my morning was off to a start and not a very bright one. I straightened in my chair getting back to my job.

"Please tell me one thing you used to enjoy in life?" I changed the subject.

"My wife.... we were so in love. I loved every piece of her. Even when she was sick, she was so strong, and I was so weak. I envied her strength and how when she walked into a room it would brighten with her presence."

"And what would your wife want for you. She sounds like a courageous woman, and I can tell you she wouldn't want you to loathe in self-pity. She would want you to be happy whatever that means. Perhaps falling in love again? But not this. I can assure you that." His eyes welled with tears and he placed his hands on his cheeks with his elbows holding his face resting on his knees.

"You talk about how much your wife loved you and how much you loved her. You due her at least an attempt at being happy. You're such an amazing man and the world wouldn't be the same without you. A little darker a litter sadder and certainly not the same. I just want you to say I tried because there are so many opportunities and enjoyments in life that are awaiting you."

I continued. "One thing is promised in life. Taxes and death. It is the cruel world we live in, but we have to make the good outweigh the bad. Promise me you will try no matter how hard it gets. Keep swimming until you reach the shore."

"The loss of one isn't easy. But the years your wife missed out on now live through you."

"Can I let you in on a secret?" I continued.

Morris nodded.

"A few years ago, I was an individual who didn't believe in hope who didn't believe there was better. Until someone took my hand and walked me through the light. I was lost for years upon years then one day my life drastically changed. If I left, I wouldn't have those memories. I wouldn't have met the one I call my husband. I know you met your soulmate. But I know one person in over 7 billion people would climb up a moon for you. Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Because you lost your wife don't let it stop you from loving or believing cause in this mucked up world you were happy so find that emotion again. You made memories. So, I have a challenge for you. I want you to do something anything you used to enjoy. Watch tennis. Play snooker. Go to your favourite cafe. Met a friend. Anything."

He followed. "When I was a little boy, I used to visit a farm with my brothers. It was my favourite hideout. We went over the summer period, and it was my happy place." A tear escaped his eye.

"Thanks. I'll see you next week if I'm still alive." He chuckled as the words dropped from his mouth.

**