Tethered By Lust

Rule 1: Don't rely on love

Cordelia

7 years ago

Marcus's stare pierced right through me and all I could feel was his eyes shooting bullets.

"I can't continue whatever this is, Marcus."

"Why are you acting off with me? I hate fucking living and this isn't helping." Tears started to blur my vision and Marcus became a tall figure with dark hair standing in front of me. Maybe clearer than I've ever actually seen him.

I started to breath heavier and ragged as sobs escaped me.

I turned around to hide my embarrassment and his arms wrapped around me trying to calm me.

"I know... I know... But it's going to be okay. I'm going to get you out." He said pulling me closer into his chest.

I thrashed to get out his threshold so I could face him. "You can't promise that. You can't. You'll leave when you get fed up and I'll get back to a life I'd rather be dead for."

"Del." He pleaded.

I cut him off. "Just leave me alone so I won't get more hurt when you end up eventually getting bored and leaving." Tears continued to pour down my cheeks and he stepped closer wiping them away with his thumbs and held my neck up straight with his hands, so he was in my line of view and nothing else.

"I'm not going anywhere.... I've got you okay.... I'm not going anywhere.... You're safe with me, baby."

I sniffled and teared up even more because I needed reassurance. I needed to hear that. I couldn't continue without him holding my hand because there was nothing left for me. Nothing in this world of hell hidden behind doors. Hidden behind shattered souls. Hidden behind terrified girls like myself.

Why would anyone listen to someone like me and even if they did the repercussions could be worse. What if I'm sent away from my mum? I would be completely alone. She might have not been there for me all the time but the thought of a mother being close made it easier. It made the thought of fighting a war not too daunting when your mother was nearby.

"Let's go to bed." Marcus said and I nodded.

He tucked me in whilst caressing my jaw with his thumb and reassured me he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'll just be downstairs."

"No...... Please please stay." I begged.

He sat next to me on top of the covers. We both faced each other. His hand rubbed my arm in circular motions. His touch made me feel so safe.

Marcus

7 years ago

I didn't love anyone. Not really. My brother, Noel, was close to love but didn't pass the bar. Corey and Ivan, I cared about them a lot and wouldn't let anyone harm them. But love was an unusual emotion for me. I didn't understand how you could love someone until the point of death. Enough to kill for that person. I could kill for myself without a second thought. But for someone else that was something entirely different. Something I hadn't tasted.

Cordelia. She was what love felt like.

In that moment, I understood, what love was.

I didn't want her to be ashamed of her past. I wanted her to know how strong she was for surviving and for not giving up.

I didn't plan on love but that night a few weeks ago when I saw her beaten. A wave of emotions swarmed me. A wave of unfamiliar feelings intensified throughout me. I had never felt anger like it. I wanted to hold her so close and tell her everything would be okay.