Chapter Four

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Justin's POV:

"Great show tonight Justin!" Scooter said walking into my dressing room. I nodded in his direction as I escaped from the day dream I had found myself in.

"How are you feeling sweet heart?" My mom asked giving me a hug. She had a worried look on her face, like always.

"I'm fine mom." I said hugging her back. I don't know what they want from me. I barely understand what is happening to me so how am I supposed to explain it to them.

"Can't believe that was the last show!" Fredo said plopping on the couch.

"Me either," I breathed. I felt all eyes on me, but I ignored it. In all honesty, I didn't know what to say to anyone.

Believe tour was finally over, and I am now 20 years old. I was sad tour was over but at the same time; I was happy too. The past 3 months have have been really hard on me. I've been struggling with depression ever since Selena and I broke up. It broke me.

After I released Believe Acoustic she disappeared. I'm not sure what happened to her. I miss her. I feel like most of the breakup was my fault. I just wanted to get away, from it all. Don't get me wrong; I love my life, most of the time. I just can't do this anymore. I miss her so much.

I don't know what I was thinking. In fact, I wasn't thinking. I pushed her away because I thought that was for the best. Selena had been struggling with her own demons and I didn't know what else to do.

She was the love of my life. I don't know where she is but I wish she would forgive me, for everything. She was going through a lot and I wasn't there for her.

When we were together I would argue with her. She was tired of the spotlight; tired of it all. She wanted to leave and get away from it all. I told her she was crazy if she thought I would run away with her. We kept fighting, to the point where we never wanted to be with one another.

I broke up with her. I yelled at her. I thought she was nuts. Then she just disappeared, she left. And it's all my fault.

I have no idea who I am anymore. I'm empty and alone.

Originally Written: Early 2013
Revised: Late 2015

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