The Sinner

47

Rafe Cameron

Rage is an emotion that shows itself often with me.

Sometimes it's completely uncontrollable, it all comes tumbling down like an avalanche.

When I was a kid, I used to lash out all the time, refusing to believe that it was my own fault for the things that I did. I never thought there was anything wrong with me.

But now I realize that I do have some anger issues, and I think that's the first step in this whole process. Recognition can be a scary thing, regardless of what it comes from.

It's starting to scare me, truly, how fucked up I am. All of my issues seem to be stacking on top of one another, it's...it's like I'm spiraling. One thing get's triggered and they all come flushing out.

My issues have a really nasty way of showing themselves sometimes. But, it's never meant to be malicious. I really mean that. Everything that happened with Peterkin, it was an accident. I just wanted to protect my dad. I really, try, to do everything I can for the people I love.

And right now, that's only my dad and Corrine.

I felt sick from the moment I woke up yesterday. I sat on the side of my bed for about thirty minutes, leaning over my knees debating whether or not I should pull trig.

Something felt very off.

I never throw up, ever. I really thought it was some sort of travelers sickness, but when Corrine told me she was going to the party that same day. It's like something inside of me was telling me that something bad was going to happen there.

Call it intuition if you want, or maybe I'm just a fucking genius.

But I'm so happy that I dropped everything for her and flew to that party. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't? Tanner could have easily hurt her, again.

Up until the moment I die, I will protect that girl with my life. She means the fucking world to me.

This was the second time I was ready to kill Tanner. There was no thoughts going through my head telling me to stop hurting him, none. If Lamberti wasn't there to yank me off of that piece of trash, I'm confident I would have killed him.

And I don't feel any remorse for that. The bastard deserves to die.

I wish I would have killed him.

When I came to my senses, that Corrine was there, witnessing everything, I'm glad I didn't though. I think that truly would have scared her away and I would've lost her for good.

I need to control myself, for her.

Speaking of Corrine, she was out the entire flight. When the wheels of the plane hit the ground, it seemed to jolt her awake. She looked like she needed the sleep though, so of course I let her curl right up to me and sleep the eight hours.

"Are we here?" She asks as she slowly sits up. I feel the plane slowing down as we approach the airport. I push some hair away from her face and nod.

"We are," I say, smiling at how cute she looked. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good, really good actually," She says, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Did you sleep at all?"

I shook my head, "I couldn't." My mind was racing, I was still too hyped up on adrenaline to sleep. I open the sliding blinds that was attached to the window, and I notice that a black car was pulling up at the same time. That's gotta be for us.

"So you didn't get any sleep at all last night?" I shake my head.

When I look back at Corrine, the sun was hitting her just right. She looked beautiful, well she always does. But the sun was shining in her green eyes, giving them just the right amount of sparkle. My eyes flash down to her chin and I immediately frown.