The Sinner

79

My leg bounces uncontrollably.

Like I just had three energy drinks or something. Everything inside of me felt like I was high or something. But I was buzzing from a highly caffeinated drink, or from pills, I was freaking the fuck out.

I lay back onto Rafe's bed, my face staring up at the ceiling as I try to come to terms with what just happened. Again. It's staying in my mind like some permanent tattoo.

Not only did I just kill someone. But Rafe told me that I was just as sane as he is.

If that isn't a scary sign, I don't know what is.

But maybe this is how it was supposed to be. Maybe this was the reason that we were together. So that he could be the one to comfort me when I ultimately ended up killing someone.

God that sounds awful to say. But at the same time I feel like I'm an awful human being. But maybe that's who I am now. I'm no longer a good person, I'm a sinner. I'm evil. I'm someone who doesn't deserve the good in this world anymore.

Maybe we did deserve each other.

The door opens, and I hear heavy footsteps echo into his room. I quickly sit up, my hands placed at either side of me to hold myself up. I feel my jaw drop as I notice Rafe walk in.

"What the hell happened to you?" I ask.

The gray expensive zip up he was wearing was covered in mud. Along with the jeans he was wearing were destroyed.

"Pope happened," He explains, pealing the sweatshirt off. "He followed me when I took the truck out to the swamps and we got into a fight."

I don't say anything as I watch him strip off his shirt next. He turns around, eyebrows raised as he walks back over to me.

Did he get rid of the body?

"How are you doing?" He bends down to peck my lips. His warm mud covered hand caresses my cheek as he does. "Any better?"

"Not really," I sigh. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not badly. I'm sure I'll have a couple of bruises. Nothing crazy though," He explains. His eyes stay on the spot where his hand just was. "Sorry I got some mud on you."

"It's okay," I say, looking up at him.

"Don't look so sad baby," He says, his eyes pouring into mine. The back of his hand drags down my cheeks and over my bottom lip. "Come shower with me."

"I don't wanna have sex Rafe," I mumble.

"That wasn't what I meant." He takes my hands and helps me off his bed. He walks me over to the bathroom that was in the corner of his room.

He opens the door and turns on the water. He walks back over, his head hangs as he looks down at me. He puts his hands on both sides of my face, slowly and gently grazes my face. I've never seen him so careful before, he's acting as if I'm broken. And he needed to be careful with me, like his touch could break me even more.

"Come on pretty girl, take your clothes off." For some reason I felt shy underneath his gaze. This moment felt a lot more intimate, even though we've already had sex. "Hands up."

I slowly lift my hands in the air, and he grabs the hem of my shirt, slowly pulling it up my body. I breath lives my lips as it gets tugged over my head.

I take my bra off, then he helps me unbutton my jeans. He slides them down along with my underwear, helping me step out of them. His eyes dance across my chest as he looks up at me. Placing a kiss on my thigh as he does.