girl singing in the wreckage ✰ dave grohl

six

april woke up to a splitting headache, then a shiver that trailed down her body. she subconsciously reached for the covers for warmth, turning to face the peaceful sleeping form of the man she had fallen asleep next to the night prior. her bare legs were dangling off of one side of the bed, and when her eyes fell upon him, she scrambled to clutch the sheets around her exposed body. she took a moment to observe how he slept-- his hair splayed messily across his pillow, and his eyelashes fluttering every now and then.

taking a deep breath, april slipped out of the bed and pulled on her clothes, gathering up all of her items that had been discarded around his room and slipping out the door. she let out a breath as the door closed behind her, leaning against it and rubbing her forehead tiredly. she stepped back as she heard someone clearing their throat, and she spotted kurt sitting on the couch with a smirk on his face.

"i was never here." she spoke matter-of-factly as she marched toward the front door.

"the sounds i heard last night say otherwise. these walls are thin, y'know." he stayed, taking a sip of coffee, then a cigarette drag. "look, i couldn't give less of a fuck if you sleep with dave, but if you hurt him..." he trailed off as he took another drag, then exhaled a cloud of smoke. april nodded in response.

"trust me, this was a one time thing. we were both fucked up and it doesn't need to be brought up." april replied, shifting on her feet awkwardly. this wasn't the answer kurt had been hoping for, but he didn't seemed bothered by it as he let out a grunt in response.

"i'll see you around, kurt."

---

april had been replaying all she could remember from that night the entire weekend. slowly she had been piecing together mornings from the night, and the longer she went without dave's calls or seeing him, she felt like she was going through withdrawals.

what didn't help with this nauseous feeling was how she was greeted when she entered the front door. yes, she snuck out regularly and partied, but never had she disappeared for the extended amount of time she had that day.

her dad was livid, but more than angry, he looked tired. the bags under his eyes were more prominent now than ever, and his spirit seemed almost deflated. plus, he had started drinking again, and that never went well. after her mother left, and for as long as she could remember up till the last couple of years, her father had been a heavy drinker. it was only two years prior he had gotten sober, and now, he had fallen back into the same routine as when her mother exited the front door.

after a screaming match with her dad, april called up cherry, letting her knew when she got her film developed she would send over copies of the best shots. she also called her because she needed someone to talk to.

"i slept with dave."

"huh?" cherry questioned, the dave that april was referring to not yet clicking in her mind.

"dave... kurts friend..." she trailed off.

"HUH?!" cherry exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth in surprise, then letting out a cackle.

"stop laughing!" april replied, laughs beginning to erupt from her chest too. "stop! it's not funny!"

after catching her breath, cherry spoke again.

"to be honest, i thought you two already had?" she spoke between fits of giggles. april gasped, clapping hand over her mouth.

"stop-- you bitch!" she exclaimed, trying to suppress her laughter. "why?" she questioned.

"are you kidding?" cherry exclaimed through the phone. "the sexual tension between the two of you is so thick you could fucking cut it. not to mention you're always making eyes at him"

"oh my fucking god, am i really?" she flushed at the realization that she subconsciously stared at him.

"um, yes! every single time i would look in your direction, you were either staring at him or he was at you-- are you guys oblivious or do are you ignoring it?" 

"ignoring what?" april questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"the fact you're both totally falling for each other." cherry laughed into the phone, shaking her head at her friends oblivion. 

"that's bullshit, i don't fall for people." april began. "they fall for me."

"oh really? what about tony?" cherry replied without thinking. there was a long pause on the other end.

"fuck you for that."

"my bad, that was shitty of me."

tony was the first (and who april hoped was the last) person she ever fell in love with. it was in the peak of her naivety as a highschooler, and he was her older brothers friend. he would always come over when she was around fourteen, and she would peek around corners and sit in the living room reading a book, hoping to catch his eye. and she never did. 

the first time she ever got drunk with her friends was over the summer between freshman and sophomore year. they went to a party, and tony was there. she could barely function, and was stumbling all over the place as she bumped into the people around her. she had passed out in a corner where he had found her, and in her drunk state she had spewed at him all the pent up hopeless romance she had felt for him over the years. and he had kissed her.

he had kissed her in all the ways she had dreamed he would. he held the back of her waist tenderly as he ran his hand up and down her arm. they pulled apart and he walked away, and then after that, she didn't see him come around often anymore. he was both the first person she had fallen in love with and the first who broke her heart. it was bittersweet-- not a drawn out romance or a whirlwind of tragedy, but just enough for cracks to form in her heart.

and after that, she had come to the realization that there was no worse feeling than a broken heart. no matter the highs you felt while in love, no euphoria was worth the comedown of someone shattering your heart. and so, she vowed that she wouldn't ever fall in love. and she didn't. she had been doing her promise to herself well for years until she met dave-- and he fucked it all up.

"it's okay. i'm way over him. it's been years."

but they both knew it was a lie. everyone has one person that will stick with them for the rest of their life, and for april, tony was that person. she would probably love him forever-- somewhere, deep in her heart. and as long as that love was kept buried deep beneath a sea of emotion, she was okay with it.