girl singing in the wreckage ✰ dave grohl

twelve

seattle, 1994

the next time april would see dave was at kurts funeral. she wasn't doing too well, but she was stable enough financially to get a plane ticket out, as she'd been invited to pay her respects. she felt a little bit out of place at the funeral. kurt and her weren't the closest, but in a way, he was like cherry. the two were connected somehow, if not only by their similar deaths, but by their outlook on life, and the way they carried themselves. they were both geniuses-- tortured, but geniuses.

the first thing she noticed about dave was his hair. he had cut it. she locked eye contact with him like she had at cherry's funeral, but this time she held it, mustering up a small smile. he waved. the first thing he had noticed was that she was thinner. the reason for this being, that after cherry's death, april hadn't even considered the prospect of sobriety. it just wasn't going to happen. too much shit had happened in such a short period of time for her to function soberly.

she had her back turned to the friends and family who were there for the funeral, staring off into the distance. how many people could one lose before turning thirty? she had spaced out to the point where she didn't register the presence beside her.

"hey." april turned to face the man, whom, last time she had seen him, she had told she loved. at cherry's funeral, he wore a sad expression on his face, one difficult to read. but at kurt's funeral, april could see the pain in his eyes. it was more prominent now than ever that the deaths had taken a toll on him. each was a blow to the heart, and he felt as though he was beginning to crack.

"hi." she replied simply, looking up at him and taking in his features for the first time in three years. "you cut your hair." she spoke. she loved his long hair.

"yeah."

"i like it." she began with a small smile. "not as much as when it was long, but it suits you." he smiled in response.

"where are you these days?" he asked, watching as the cloud formations shifted and moved throughout the afternoon sky. it was a sunny day, which was ironic, as it was the day he buried his best friend.

he observed her neutral expression. her features seemed more empty-- her eyes had lost their spark and her skin was pale, it had lost it's golden undertones.

"around." she replied simply, with a sheepish smile. how very april of her. she eyed the golden band on his left ring finger and felt her heart squeeze in pain. she felt nauseous.

"aurora."

"san francisco, actually." she spoke with a smile.

"hm. when are you headed back?"

"tomorrow morning." dave didn't reply to this, only staring off into the distance beside her. they stood in silence few moments before dave spoke again.

"where were you?"

"what do you--" she began, but was cut off with a sour chuckle from dave. she frowned.

"cut the shit, april." he spoke, shaking his head sadly. "after cherry-- after she died you just left. you didn't tell anyone anything, just a fucking cryptic letter to max." dave's voice wavered slightly at the mention of cherry. "we all needed you. i-- i needed you, and you just fucked off." she turned to face him once more, both of their eyes glassing over with tears.

"i needed you too." her voice broke, and she turned away, deeply inhaling as her breaths became shallow.

"then why did you leave?" he questioned, almost pleadingly.

"i had to dave. you don't understand, i was going fucking crazy on that god damn tour." she began, her voice cracking. "and you're married. i don't live in olympia anymore. we both have out own lives. it just... wasn't meant to be."

"i don't accept that." he shook his head, frowning at the ground. "none of that fucking matters, april— i need you. i don't fucking have anyone anymore." he pleaded. he knew he was reaching, but it was painful how empty his bed felt without her. no matter how many people filled her space beside him, none would truly be the same.

"you have a wife now, dave. i could be married with kids for all you know." she laughed, staring at the ground. their conversation ended as a beautiful woman came to dave's side.

"you ready to go, honey?" she asked dave, putting a hand on his back. she noticed april standing there, and smiled at her. as much as april wanted to hate whoever dave had moved on with, she truly had no just reason to. she seemed sweet, plus she as beautiful. dave nodded in response and said goodbye to april. she stood there as the couple walked away, hand in hand.

"who was that?" jennifer asked dave as they walked to the car.

"just an old friend."

when april looked back down at her feet, she noticed a crumpled piece of paper. it looked as if dave had written something down and crumpled it up, tucking it back into his pocket only for it to fall out. she bent down and picked it up, unfolding the paper.

i'll wait here for you however long it takes.

only "however long it takes" was crossed out and re written as 'everlong'