The Two Of Us

Chapter 2: First Day!

"Said you loved me but you only
loved yourself, you wreked me
so hard, you played all your
cards right"
- Layton Greene - Myself

___________________________

UKHONA MTHEMBU

This day came earlier than I anticipated. It Monday already and I am going to school, new school. The alarm ringing on my bedside reminds me of that harsh truth. I roll over and turn the damn thing off.

"Ukhona! Are you awake?!", my mother yells from the door.

She knows me very well. Firstly, I hate Monday - totally a disturbance of my restful weekend. Secondly, I always ignore the alarm because I love my sleep. I prefer being indoors but mostly in the comfort of my bed. I'm not lazy, don't get it twisted. I'm just not an outdoor type.

"Yeah"
I am so not a morning person but today, I've been awake for almost thirty minutes now. I barely sleep when I am stressed. Even last night, it took me quite some time to fall asleep.

After taking a cold shower, I feel a little better—like who doesn't feel better after washing up. I always prefer a cold shower when it's summer and it is mid-February and the weather is warm. But it is cooler than where I come from, in the far north. There, the sun is  hot as that of Sahara desert.

I stare at my reflection in the body-length mirror of my closet. I'm not a big fan of mirrors. Sometimes they lift my mood from zero to hundred, sometimes the opposite. I pat my short hair  one more time. I need to straighten my hair. The may look so short but they are stretchy, maybe two puffs length if you ask me. It's been quite some time since I shaved my head.

I stand there for a while.

Navy is not bad on me but I feel like it was better with a white shirt than a blue one. I look a little bit too dark. It's not like I'm pretty anyway to even care about my looks.

My mother always tells me that I am dark and beautiful. But what's there to believe when she's the only one who sees that. Not really, my grandmother, my best friend, Andiswa and my cousin, Zethembiso would tell me that I'm a beautiful but you know what I mean.
If I was pretty enough maybe Sandile wouldn't have left me for that light skinned thick and curvy girl.
"I'm sorry but you're not my type. I was just...it was fun.", he had said. Like who would date a skeleton that I am. Laugh my lungs out. I should have listened to my grandmother's advice when she warned me about boys but I chose not to. I took my mother's advice of enjoying being young, explore and experience things. The same mother who is a single mother today for some reasons I don't know of. Haha. Not that I look down on my mother or any other baby mama but I guess it was a stupid move after all.

Sandile was my first love. Whoever said, "first love never works out", forgot to add that it might destroy you.
I mean, I was so blind that I didn't realise that they guy was using me. I'd do all the school work for him just because 'he had a soccer practice' or he was injured during the game. Hehe! I've never been so stupid! He'd call only when he needs me and I'd run to his rescue like a paramedic. He'd post pictures of random girls but me and I wouldn't care because they were his 'classmates'. I destroyed myself and everything that start with a 'self-' in me without realizing. He never liked me, he approached me for his own benefits and I was stupid enough to fall for it. Maybe I love too hard because I want to feel loved. Maybe I have father issues that I expect every male figure in my life to treat me like and princess and make me feel special. Something a father would do? Sigh. Or I just have bad taste in men?
At least I learned my lesson: stay away from football players.

"You look beautiful!", my mother reminds me for the fourth time this morning when I get into the car.

I laugh, "You've been saying that ever since I came out of my room."