Fears and Regrets

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Hello Everyone!!! First of all SHAADI MUBARAK Y'all!!!!! Our dulha-dulhan are the cutest ever!

But but but! I can't get over their bench conversation and how easily Abhi's insecurity, anger and fear were put on hold...so here is how that conversation should have gone in my opinion. A lot of their convo is the same with some necessary changes and then continues to what I would have wanted to see.

Abhi's feelings are justified and at the same time Akshu wouldn't be Akshu if she didn't feel guilty. I wish she would have felt guilty for the right reasons though😒

P.S: I'm alive and still obsessed as ever but life is busy! I have a big family and all our birthdays begin end of February and continue on with 1-2 bdays a month, plus March has my New Years coming and I've started actively searching for a job so I'm all over the place. Upar se twitter has sucked me in so badly🤣 I need a therapist to help me with my addiction especially for when I do get a job😳 okay that's it about me! Sorry for boring you all with my life story when you could be reading about Abhira🤣

Enjoy Reading!

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Akshara pulled her knees to her chest as she sat on the bench outside the hospital. Breathing in the fresh air, she had hoped her heavy heart would lighten itself after the day had slowed down but no. She still felt burdened with so many emotions. She still felt her heart squeeze in pain as if a huge, scaly snake had wrapped itself around her beating organ and was slowly tightening its hold.

At times she surprised herself with her ability to appear normal on the outside while she felt completely torn apart inside. She'd felt like this for days now...more precisely, she had started to feel like this since the moment she had confessed her feelings for her Abhi.

It started out as a tiny, sharp prickling and with each passing argument, every disappointed or angry face, every insult or taunt, it grew. Until today. Seeing what Bade Papa had to go through, what her loved ones had to face today all because of her? It nearly took her breath away and left her cold.

In a trance, she just stared at the darkness ahead of her and as if she could no longer hold it in, everything came tumbling out without her realizing it.

"Aaj ka din, meri life ka sab se bada din tha. Tumhe pata hai Bade Papa andar kya bol rahe the?" She muttered sullenly.

"Kya?" Abhi replied just as softly as he stretched his aching neck. He leaned his chin on his bicep and gave her his full attention as he always did.

"Ki unki aankhon ke saamne, unko unki puri zindagi dikhaye de rahi hai. Aur unke bache unko wapas keench laye. Pehle toh mujhe samajh aaya hi nahi. Phir jab socha, toh laga ki...agar aaj unhe kuch ho jata...woh humein chod kar chale jaate toh woh apne saath kya lekar jaate? Ek malaal? Ki unki Akshu se unhone joh umeedien lagayi thi, woh puri nahi hui?"

Jaw clenched tightly and eyes filled with hurt, Abhi turned to look away. Fear began crawling it's way to his heart and mind as he tried to control his breathing. It wasn't happening. This was not what he thought it was.

"Unki Akshu ne unhe itni taqlif di, ke unko duniya se hi jaana padha. Ki unki Akshu ka ek faisla, unke zindagi leh gaya. Kisi ek apne se pyar karne ki keemat, dusre apne ki zindagi kaise ho sakti hai? Kaise?"

Akshu shuddered thinking about how close she had come to losing one more pillar of support, one more parental figure, one more family member. She closed her eyes as past memories brought more tears.

Abhimanyu froze hearing the pain in her voice as she spoke. The fear slowly covered every inch of him as he angrily thought about the only ending this conversation could have. Lost in her pain, Akshu failed to notice Abhi's lack of movement or the frenzy of emotions running through his eyes.

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