The Black Dahlia

41. Loss

Gabriella

It hurts everywhere. I don't want to open my eyes. I just want to sleep forever but my peace was disturbed by a unknown beep sound. I tried to open my eyes. I squinted my eyes a bit rough, shutting them tightly once before opening them again. A bright light hit my eyes as i gradually opened them. They weren't bright but they seemed almost blinding. I looked around the room it was a spacious room. But even before i opened my eyes , i knew the place

A hospital

The rich scent of medicines and freshness of surgical sanitizers thickened the air. The subtle and continuous sound of beeping monitors were all familiar for the doctor like me.
I looked at my left hand that had a needle connected that was my IV.
I looked at my right and saw a head perched down right next to my hand, with the body sitting on a chair near my bed. At that time i knew who the person is.

she is Sandra!!!.

My throat was dry and i wasn't able to speak anything. I gently and slowly patted Sandra 's head. He lifted his head gently when he felt hand. His eyes widened in shock when he saw me awake.
"Wa...t..er" i asked

she quickly got up from the chair and brought me a glass of water. she helped me to sit. she put his hand on nape and tilted my head towards her. she put the glass of water on my lips and helped me to drink it. After the whole glass of water my throat felt better.
"How are you feeling " she asked politely.
"Better " i replied.

After few minutes a doctor came to check on me. The doctor gave me a green light and said that I was in a good health and can get discharged in few days. Sandra sat beside a placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I am sorry for your loss" She said. I looked at her confusedly. Loss?? What loss?? "I know it's not easy to accept this and move on. But don't worry we all are...." I cut her off in the middle by saying " what the hell are you talking about?" she was taken aback by my question. She looked at me sadly and said "the doctors couldn't save it"
Right now I am very angry on Sandra. I couldn't understand what exactly she is talking about and this literally got into my nerves.

"what are you talking about? And what doctor couldn't save it?" I asked. She again gave me that look like I lost something very important and I have no idea about it.

"Gabriella I am sorry....the doctor...couldn't save the....baby" she sobbed. "baby?" I asked confusedly.
"wait you didn't knew you were pregnant?" she asked. I shook my head in no unable to form any word. Absentmindedly my hand went on my flat stomach. I really don't know what to say. Silent tears rolled down my eyes, Sandra took me in a hug.

"I am so sorry Gabriella" I am crying for something that I didn't it was there at first. I wish I knew that I was pregnant. If I knew I was pregnant then I would never gone alone to deal with those bastards!!

"I am such a bad mother......." I sobbed. "its not your fault" Sandra consoled me. "I had no idea that...I was...pregnant....." she wiped my tears and said "its ok"
"how can you say its ok...I lost my baby.....my child. I was...going to be a....mother and I had no idea about it....." I sobbed. I closed my eyes. I really messed up everything. I had the symptoms but still I didn't took the test.

Due to carelessness I lost my child. I can never forgive myself for this.
"Gabriella its not your fault. Its just an accident. You didn't did it intentionally" Sandra said. "its very easy for you to say it because you are not the one who lost the child" I said with angry tears rolling down my eyes. She had tears in her eye. At that time I realized that she wasn't showing me sympathy but actually empathy.