Heartbroken Desires

The Memories

Irene reached the staff office and her dejected facial expression wasn't overlooked by her colleagues. They saw how Irene was pouting slightly and sighed before slumping in her chair.

Eunwoo came forward and asked, "Irene? Are you okay? You look... exhausted."

"Leave me alone, Eunwoo. I'm not in the mood to talk, "Irene said as she rested her head in between her hands.

Eunwoo shook his head and went back to his work, wondering what happened to the merry Irene he saw this morning.

Irene, on the other hand, was not coping well with the situation. She conflicted with her feelings and wasn't able to understand why Y/N looking at someone bothered her. The rest of her day went like that, in conflict and unfocused.

She just wanted to go home and forget about all the happenings for a moment.

"I wanna go home..." she muttered under her breath as she felt overwhelmed by her depressed energy.

That wasn't new to her, but somehow the impact felt a little too intense for her liking.

Finally, when the university came to an end, Irene was the first one to leave the staff office without saying her goodbyes. She hurriedly walked out and through the hallways, but by some means, her luck was not on her side.

While walking out, she saw two girls sitting on the garden bench in front of the university. She noticed how they were holding hands and talking like they had known each other for years. The happiness was evident on their faces and that made Irene genuinely sad.

"Y/N..."

Y/N was talking to Rosé with a bright smile, her eyes were sparkling and her hands were shaking with overflowing emotions. She looked like she was overjoyed by seeing Rosé.

Irene averted her eyes away from them, whilst her mind was itching her subtly to go and interrupt their sweet little conversation, but her rational side told her no and she agreed. Almost running out of the university, Irene walked towards the parking lot.

Millions of nasty thoughts about the pair of girls were running through her mind and she couldn't help but take in short, deep breaths to calm her volatile mind down.

Irene got in her car and closed the door with a slam as the noise echoed through the reticent place. She roughly inserted her key and turned with a grunt as the car wasn't getting started in an instant.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" she shouted at the car while hitting her palm on the steering wheel.

Her chest heaved continuously as a scowl was evident on her face. She was raging from inside and that was showing through her actions. Irene was certainly not feeling it anymore, she was annoyed by everything at the moment.

After throwing a few more profanities at her lone car, the car engine revved to life and she skidded through the parking lot and onto the main road. Forgetting to put on the seat belt, Irene was not thinking rationally enough to care about her safety first.

Instead, her mind was wandering toward the interactive scene between the blonde and Y/N.

"Stop thinking about it!" Irene said to herself as she glared at the road in front of her, driving aggressively through the other cars, entirely violating traffic rules.

Later, Irene got home. Miraculously, she didn't get caught by the traffic police officers. Slamming the car door closed, Irene picked up her things and walked towards the elevator of her apartment building.

As the elevator door closed, Irene leaned against the wall as the memories of that night filled her mind. The night she first brought Y/N to her apartment, the night she forgot her moral values, the night she crossed a line and gave in to her desires.

Because she couldn't stop herself.

Irene's hand touched the wall behind her and looked down at the floor as the images flashed through her mind. Y/N pinned against the wall and Irene haughtily kissed her. Y/N made sounds beneath her and they, to this day, rung inside her head.

It almost felt like a lucid dream that she wanted to relive again, but a so-called new girl interrupted her fantasy, the pact they verbally made that night. The pact, that none of them knew what it meant, however, it was there.

With a ding, the elevator door opened and Irene stared at the hallway for a few moments before stepping out. She ambled through and halted in front of her apartment's door. Looking through her bag, Irene took out the keys and stared at them, and then an old memory came into her mind.

The first time she got those keys after leaving Bogum. It was so sudden that she didn't realize that she got her apartment and moved in within two days. Irene doesn't even remember opening the door with these for the first time.

She was too heartbroken to think properly back then.

Weird that those memories were creeping back into her mind. But, something about it felt familiar to her, the emotion, the feeling. It was all the same.

Irene felt the same pain when she left Bogum and the same pain when she saw Y/N with Rosé too.

"But, why...? What's the meaning of all this?" Irene spoke to herself.

Inserting the key in the keyhole, Irene opened the door and switched on the lights at the entrance. She silently pulled off her heels and slipped into her comfy slippers. Hanging the keys on the hook, Irene went to her bedroom.

She chose to shower first after a messed-up day and conflicted feelings.

After a much-needed warm shower, Irene slipped into her blue pajamas and went to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and took out a wine bottle, not having an appetite to eat dinner. Pouring herself a glass, she walked into the living room and brought her work.

Trying to distract herself from all the chaos.

Comfortably sitting on the couch, Irene opened her notebook and the book to make lecture notes for the next class. She sipped on her wine while jotting down the important points in her notebook.

She was slowly getting a hang of it when her phone buzzed. Irene picked it up and saw a text on the school's official chat group. She opened the message and read it.

*****

Mr. Kwon: Hello professors.

Mr. Kwon: This message is regarding Park Roseanne. I hope that you helped her with today's classes and will continue to do so.

Mr. Kwon: Roseanne's father is one of my closest friends and he entrusted me with his daughter's responsibility. I need special attention on her for a few weeks, especially from Ms. Yujun and Ms. Irene.

Mr. Kwon: Hope you understand the need. Thank you.

*****

Just after reading Rosé's name, Irene felt the familiar anger boiling up in her and switched off her phone in an instant. Somewhere she knew that it wasn't Rosé's fault at all, but she couldn't help but blame her.

"What is it that she has but I don't?" Irene asked herself and gulped down her whole glass of wine.

Feeling dizzy as the alcohol started to take over her, Irene put her books aside and laid on the couch looking up at the ceiling. She felt her eyelids getting heavy and her brain telling her to sleep.

As she finally closed her eyes, tears started to spill out from the corner of her eyes. The same way they fell a year ago, feeling almost at her lowest.

"Y/N..."

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Damn it.

But, what's up with Y/N and Rosé?