Insanity ♧ L. Cheong-San x OC (All Of Us Are Dead)

[14] not here

an. i just want to put a warning at the start, just in case. trigger warning!panic attack.

It's the deafening kind of silence that fills the room as we wait for our friends to return. The soles of my shoes squeak against the white ceramic tiles, each step I take is as heavy as a rock. My stomach feels queasy and I can feel bile rise up my throat.

I momentarily stop my movements, closing my eyes.

I'm trying to calm myself, but each time I close my eyes I'm met with a vision of Cheong-San- bloodied and battered with ghost-white eyes- and then I open my eyes once more and he's not here.

He's still not here.

I'm only met with On-Jo who looks at me with worry-filled eyes.

She reaches out a hand to hold mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "He's going to come back. They both are."

I force a smile as she lets go of my hand. My legs suddenly feel like jello from pacing back and forth, so I decide to take a seat beside Wu-Jin. He gives my shoulder a light bump and raises a hand, running his fingers through my hair. It calms my racing heart a bit- enough to stop me from standing up and repeating the same motions as I wait for Cheong-San and Su-Hyeok to return.

"In some countries they are sadder when adults die than when kids die, and in others they are sadder when kids die." Nam-Ra speaks, catching everyone's attention. "Which do you think our country is?"

"What do you mean?" Dae-Su asks.

"When we lose kids, we lose hope." Joon-Young says. "And when we lose adults, we lose their wisdom."

I grip the hem of my skirt tightly. "It all comes down to what we value more: hope or wisdom."

Nam-Ra sighs and turns to face the window. We hear the helicopters flying above the school yard, almost as if they were mocking us.

"They've been flying around since this morning. If they wanted to save us, they would've already done it by now." When no one responds, Nam-Ra continues. "Even if they do come, we won't be the first ones to be rescued. We're not that important."

"Yah, don't say that..." I frown. "Someone's bound to save us, they have to."

Nam-Ra's smile is anything but unkind. "It's better to expect less than to have false hope."

"Is it really wrong to have hope?" I ask, voice barely above a whisper. "Because as far as I can tell that's the only thing keeping us going right now. Hope that maybe we can escape from this nightmare, hope that we get to see our families again." I lower my head. "Hope that Cheong-San and Su-Hyeok return to us safely."

"She's right." On-Jo says, turning to face Nam-Ra. "If we don't have hope that we'll be saved, then why are we still fighting to survive?"

I meet On-Jo's gaze and my heart is filled with gratitude.