In The Light// Station 19 x Reader

𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙨

Have you ever experienced pain or worry or loss? Have you ever experienced trauma? Have you ever experienced doubt? Of course you have. Everyone has.  We all live through things that test us. It's how we each cope how we process, that says the most. Do we face our pain and own it? Or are we more comfortable living in denial?

Travis had already left do do god knows what leaving the house empty besides Jack and y/m , Jack leaned against y/n's  headboard as her head layed on his chest. It was silent, they weren't ready to go into work seeing as Ripley's funeral was coming up on Friday and it took a toll on everyone at station 19

"We should tell them" y/n nodded  "I mean not right now because of everything going on but we need to soon"

"Where's this coming from" Jack asked looking at her to the best of his ability

"Ripley and Vic never got to" she got choked up "I don't want to loose you or you loose me and we never got to tell anyone"

Jack looked at her wall now as it fell silent and he thought about what she had said

~

"Are you crying?" Jack asked y/n who was getting the black bar's ready for their badges

"No." She stated avoiding his gaze as she sniffled

"Then what's in your eyes?" He got close leaning against the counter she was at

"I said I wasn't crying, and I meant it." She looked at him putting the bar on his badge looking into his eyes for a second with her own watery ones

"Like I told you this morning you don't need to feel embarrassed about this." He rubbed her arm softly looking at her with a tilted head "we're all a little messed up over Ripley. My head's kind of all over the place, too. You want me to grab you a tissue?"

"Nope." She shook her head

"You gonna grab one yourself?" he continued

"Nope 'cause I don't need one."

"I think you do."

"No, I don't, because I'm not crying." She wiped her eyes stopping herself from crying, if she got a tissue she would just break down

"Do we need to talk about this?

"Absolutely not." She stated quickly knowing she would break down if she did that as well

"Yeah. Alright, Mom. Love you. Bye." Dean stated walking into the room, according to Jack he had figured out about them on his own

"You talking with your mom?" Jack asked him confused "With "I-love-yous"?"

"Chief Ripley kind of reminded me to appreciate the people I've got while I've still got them." Miller nodded as y/n went back to what she was doing "Also, now that things with Nikki are progressing, my mom has been saying "I love you" at the end of every call. Kind of feels rude not to say it back." He looked at y/n as she turned to him to but the bar on his badge "Tanner, you okay"

"Don't forget this. Okay." She took a deep breath before leaving the room

~

"Look at that. Not even 10% contained." Miller stated looking at the news on the wildfire as they dat in the kitchen

"I hope the winds don't shift." Jack shrugged

"Just got word... California's requesting supplies." Andy walked in "This one's gonna get worse before it gets better. We'll organize shipments for Seattle departments to take down to L.A."

"It's like bad on top of bad, you know?" Ben shook his head "First, Ripley dies, and now this. Seems like we all could have used a little pause."

"Hey, how's Vic?" Ben turned to Maya who was just how y/n was