Dearest Stepbrother 21+

Chapter 8

Things were never the same, I couldn't forget Derek even if I wanted too, his touch, voice, scent and feel haunted me where ever I went and that was the hardest thing I ever went through. I couldn't focus on my job, but I did it anyhow because I needed it so much. Months went, and I felt like a dead person inside, my emotions were confused and out of control. I admitted it to myself, "I miss Derek", happy now ?, I questioned myself failing to get a hold of myself. We went out with some workmates, I knew my body was there, but my soul wasn't. We ate, drank, and I went home drunk to the core, vomiting a lot. Was this the girl I was turning into, I hoped not at that moment. Morning came, heavy headache, hangover to the core, but vomiting wasn't stopping, I knew I couldn't stomach it. I decided to go to the doctor and I regret going there as they told me I was vomiting because I was pregnant, me pregnant, I'm sure they joking, I didn't even miss my period "how is that possible?", I asked the doctor. "Some women even go on their periods when they are pregnant, it's normal dear, congratulations though", she smiled at me. I left and went home lost in thought, should I keep this baby?, do I want this baby?, how do I explain this to everyone?, what do I do ?, I can't tell Derek, I told him I was taking the pills, how did this happen?, I was careful with my pills when we had sex all the time. No,no,no,no this can't be happening, not now, a baby, let me sleep, I have to collect mom in the morning, I'm glad she's coming at least she'll tell me what to do, I know she will, my eyes feel so heavy right now, and I can't sleep, worry is overtaking me right now. "Calm down, Bella, get a grip on yourself", I shouted at myself. Managing to calm down, I fell asleep.

I was awoken by a huge thud knock on my door, who could be knocking this early? I opened the door, to only find mom standing right there, looking at me angrily. Mom?, aren't you supposed to be coming in later, I was supposed to pick you up at eleven. "It's three pm right now, I waited like a fool, I got your address from Eva and had to catch a cab" she angrily replied. "I'm so sorry mom, come and take a seat,I'm sorry", tears flooded my eyes, I cried uncontrollably, not knowing whether it were my hormones or the fact that at that moment I really didn't know what I would do. The thought of it made me cry more that I started failing to breathe. "Shhh baby, breathe, calm down, mommy is here, I'm sorry I shouted at you just now, don't cry, she hugged me gently. Mommy, I need to tell you something because right now, the only thing I'm thinking is ending everything, including my life. She slapped me, that I came back to my senses. "Bella, get a grip on yourself, and tell me what the hell is bothering you", she said. "I,I, I'm" . I fell silent. "Come on sweetie, talk to mommy, what happened?, what's making my baby cry so much ?, she asked as I let out a huge sigh. I gasped in the cool air and took a long breath , composing myself, I managed to look her in the eyes, " I'm pregnant mommy and Derek is the father", I cried. "How did this happen?, I thought you two ended everything last time, is that what you were up too after his father's funeral?, she looked at me furiously. "Yes, and we continued till I left, I'm so sorry, sorry mom", I said feeling pathetic. "Have you told him?, She asked. "No, mom, because I don't know what I'm doing" , I replied. "The one thing you are not doing is killing that baby, I don't stand with abortion you know that Bella, I think you have to tell him and see what he thinks", mom said making me some hot cocoa. Ok mommy, let me call and find out if he can make it this side we talk so that we figure things out, by the way I'm so happy you're here, it feels lonely in this huge place." I still can't believe you got this, I'm so proud of you baby, you really are a grown woman, and now you'll be a mom, she smiled. Suddenly those negative distracting thoughts started popping in my head." I would never be a good mom, Derek doesn't want this, you're ruining everything for everyone, your mom is being polite, she's angry look in her eyes, suddenly I started failing to breathe as a panic attack hit," mom, I can't breathe, help me", I called her, she came looking worried as she handed me that Hot cocoa tea, while calming me. "It's okay, don't let those voices get to you, you have power over them, baby if you are not ready to tell Derek then just wait a little and then tell him when you're ready", she said. I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned, but I knew I had to do it at any cost. I have to tell Derek no matter what. He should know whether he gets angry, I picked up the phone as my heart my beating louder than my head, I don't even know how I tell him, it started ringing, shit,shit, this changes everything between us. He's gonna get some angry. It rang five times and was picked up, but not by him. " Hi, Derek isn't here, can I take a message", a girl responded. " Who are you ?", I asked." Ohh sorry, I forgot my manners, I'm Derek's girlfriend, and who are you?", she asked. I cut the call angrily, after everything he said, he lied to me, he told me he wanted me, but he moved on with another girl so fast. I took sleeping pills and sleep, not caring about the complications. "Bella, Bella, wake up, mom tapped on my shoulders. I could barely open my eyes, "I don't feel good mom, I took something last night", I said failing to keep my eyes open. "Derek is here, so you better wake up", she screamed at me. Hearing that my eyes opened widely in disbelief, "mom did you just say that to wake me up ?, I asked her. " No, I wanted you to sleep but go see Derek now, so that you guys talk and figure this out together", she said. I stood wearing nothing but a shirt, he was right there , like right in front of me." Hi Bella, you don't look too good, are you ok?", he asked. My ears could hear what he was saying, but words could not come out, what is happening to me, everything went black.....................................